Surrounding a dying friend with love
to hold it against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
You have loved a mortal friend. You have held her close to your bones, and now it is time to let her go. Let go of the anger. Let go of the fantasy that you would have her forever.
I give you this advice in love, but I freely admit to you that I have not yet let Tommy go. He died on Feb. 16, 2016 and I still have not let him go. I have transformed my anger into deep sadness, but I still cling to my memories of what we had together.
I sat with Tommy the week before he died every day and I am not sure how much he could hear, but I would sit next to him and pretend that we were taping an episode of our show. I would interview some imaginary guest and then throw it to Tommy. Of course, he said nothing, but I would say, "What Father Tom meant to say was..." Then I would close the show the way we closed every show for 25 years. I said what Tommy always said, "I'm Father Tom Hartman." Then I said my line, "I'm Rabbi Marc Gellman." Then Tommy would say the final line. I was about to say it when Tom opened his eyes and said in a soft but clear voice, "And we ARE the God Squad." Those were the last words I heard from my friend.
God bless us one and all.
(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including "Religion for Dummies," co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman.)
(c) 2019 THE GOD SQUAD DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.
