Ask Anna: My boyfriend wants us to become a TikTok couple

Anna Pulley, Tribune News Service on

Published in Lifestyles

—Veto power: Agreeing that no video will be posted unless you both approve, and setting aside specific times for recording to ensure it doesn't overtake your free time together.

—IRL rules: Alongside defining boundaries, it's important to consider how much becoming a TikTok couple might change the dynamics of your relationship. Ensure he understands that you value authentic moments that aren't staged for viewers.

—Potential audience: Who will likely be viewing and interacting with your content? Friends, family, coworkers, strangers? Are you comfortable with all these people knowing about your relationship?

—Permanency of digital content: Internet content can be basically forever, even if deleted. Would you feel comfortable if your posts appeared years later?

—Conflict resolution: How will you handle disagreements about what to post, comments from viewers or negative feedback?

—Image management: What sort of image or brand do you want for your relationship online? How would you like others to see your relationship through your posts?


—Role division: Who will manage what aspects of your online presence? One of you? Both? Who handles filming, editing, posting, responding to comments, etc.?

—Exit strategy: If one or both of you decides you’re no longer comfortable with your relationship being public, what steps will you take to reverse course?

—Impact on future opportunities: How might your online presence affect your current job or future employment opportunities?

If, after talking and thinking some of these points through, it’s determined that your boundaries are too restrictive for your boyfriend’s TikTok goals, consider suggesting a compromise. Maybe he could stick with his solo account and include you only in content that you're truly comfortable with.

Remember, it's OK to protect your privacy and to want some aspects of your relationship to remain only between the two of you. Communicate your worries openly, compromise where possible and hold onto what makes your relationship special beyond hearts and comments.

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