Jokes - Lessons in Life - ArcaMax Publishing

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Lessons in Life

DAD - Son, come in here, we need to talk.

SON - What's up, Dad?

DAD - There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?

SON - I don't believe; if I understand the definition of "scratch the car"; that I can say, truthfully,that I scratched the car.

DAD - Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch?

SON - Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.

DAD - But your sister has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car?

SON - Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I" scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that I did not scratch the car.

DAD - Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car into the mailbox?

SON - Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent.

DAD - So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?

SON - No sir, that's not my statement. I'll refer you back to my original statement that I did not scratch the car.

DAD - But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did get scratched as a result of this contact?

SON - Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.

DAD - So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch the car?

SON - No. No, that's not correct. Your question was "Did I scratch the car?" From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not scratch the car... the mailbox did... I was merely present when the scratching occurred. So my answer of "No" when you asked "Did I scratch the car" was legally correct, although I did not volunteer information.

DAD - Where in the heck did you learn to be such a liar?

SON - From The President of the United States.

This news arrived on: 07/21/2008

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Note: Please note that the jokes here are non-copyrighted fun stuff that was found from around the Internet. If by chance we have posted a copyrighted joke without attribution, please contact us to let us know which joke is in question. This way, we can either remove the joke or give proper credit to the author.

Posted Comments:

07-28-2008 11:23

alllane wrote:

all of Thursday's Jokes

I would venture to take a wild guess that the person responsible for all of Thursday's joke posts was a very angry female- man bashing and put downs was the tread through the entire days "laughs"?? Maybe it's time to unsubscribe- I thought I'd be getting a laugh every day. What's up?

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07-25-2008 03:47

Fearfull Ralph wrote:

I've loved the way the "Moral Majority" (since when has less than 5 percent been a majority) jumped on Clinton's "define sex act please?" as proof that he is the world' biggest liar but they ignore Bush's support of torturing military prisoners and warrantless spying on Americans.

By the way, Clinton was just talking the way all lawyers talk and I must admit that 50+ years ago in the Midwest that we did not consider oral sex as a sex act. Of course, what did we know? We were just kids in an ultraconservative school.

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07-25-2008 00:43

wrote:

If the Clinton haters should get over Clinton winning 2 terms (although I have no idea what that has to do with this so called joke)then all you Bush haters should get over him winning 2 terms as well.

And yes, I have listened to Obamas speeches and there is no way on earth I would ever vote for that man.

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07-24-2008 22:53

David wrote:

C.R.

Don't post while you're drinking.

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07-24-2008 22:53

aarca Max wrote:

jokes

Very stupid joke.

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