- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"

- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

- When workers screw up they are transferred to another office to be someone else's problem; when management screws up they are promoted.

- Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed up" and "I have an opportunity for you to excel."

- Training is something spoken about but never seen.

- Vacation is something you roll over to next year.

- No travel money to do the mission, but always enough money for another useless conference.

- Change is the norm.

- Organizational direction changes every 2 or 3 years.

- The worst possible reputation comes from being the initiator of a complaint.

- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

- You can name more Government employees that used to work with you than the ones you work directly with in your current position.