A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

If you laid all of the lawyers in the world end-to-end around the equator, it would be a good idea to leave them there.

Not all kids think their moms are smart. Did you hear about the five year old boy who was sent to his room by his mother for having a bit of a tantrum and calling her dumb?

After about fifteen minutes, the mother went to his room to see if he was repentant. She found that her son had regained his composure.

He calmly and politely said to her, ...Read more

Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.

Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"

"No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but ...Read more

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the laywer was, and greeted him warmly.

Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided...Read more

... continued from above

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the film. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you ...Read more

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" ...Read more

- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

- Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

- How come abbreviated is such a long word?

- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

- Since ...Read more

When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in." Related Image

"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's ...Read more

When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.

I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of ...Read more

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he indignantly answered. "How could you think I would forget?" Whereupon he left for the office.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At ...Read more

It was the first day of school, after summer vacation and time for me to pick up the children in my school bus and take them home again.

After I had made the complete run that afternoon, one little boy remained on the bus.

Thinking he had simply missed his stop, I started driving slowly back through the neighborhood and asked him to be sure to...Read more