Humor
/Entertainment
Kids Understand Love
Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But what do little kids know about love? Read on and be surprised that despite their young and innocent ...Read more
Where's Barney
A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent.
Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the ...Read more
Even More How to Get Rid of Telemarketers
- Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
- Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
- Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
- Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a ...Read more
Stupid True Headlines
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Farmer Bill Dies in House
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
...Read more
Whales
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; ...Read more
Anagrams pt. 1
An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble. When you rearrange the letters:
Dormitory .................................. Dirty Room
Evangelist....Read more
More Questions of Logic
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. How is it, then, that "I do," is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, ...Read more
Places I'd Rather Not Live
- Paradox, New York
- Crapo, Maryland
- Boogertown, North Carolina
- Spasticville, Kansas
- Hellhole, Idaho
- Purgatory, Maine
- Girdletree, Maryland
- Rabbithash, Kentucky
Home Cooked Meal
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother ...Read more
Class Pictures
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the ...Read more
Viola Humor
How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
Write a whole note with "solo" above it.
Sociology
In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.
"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"
Customs
On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick Airport. Tania headed for the British passport control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners' line. When my turn came, the customs officer asked me the purpose of my visit.
"Pleasure," I replied. "I'm on my honeymoon."
The officer ...Read more
Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids
It doesn't take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.
Dogs cannot lie.
Dogs never resist nap time.
You don't need to get extra phone lines for a dog.
Dogs don't pester you about getting a kid.
Dogs don't care if the peas have been touched by the mashed potatoes.
Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old...Read more
Blame it On the Dog pt. 2
... continued from above
He passes wind, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases some more wind, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on a couple more times. Finally the woman yells, "Darn it Spot, get down before he poops on you."
Definitions
The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary... alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter... and supply a new definition!
1) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3) Giraffiti: ...Read more
Evil Brunettes
Why is brunette considered an evil color?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?
More Computer Virus Humor
Recently, the "Love Bug" Virus circled the globe, damaging computers in it's path. There have recently been some new mutations or variationsof this virus that you should be aware of.
* The "I Love You, But I'm Shy" virus never actually invades your computer, but collects data about it worshipfully from afar.
* The "Love The One You're With" ...Read more







