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A: Veterinary behaviorist Dr. Sharon Crowell-Davis, a professor of behavior and anatomy at the University of Georgia College of Veterinary Medicine-Athens, says, "I think you've grown to care for the outdoor cat. I'm convinced you want to find a way to bring this cat inside, and I don't blame you."

For starters, both cats should be protected against fleas. if you can touch the outdoor cat, you may be able to administer flea protection (as you simultaneously offer bits of tuna or salmon). Also, both cats should be protected against heartworm disease (transmitted by mosquitoes), and intestinal parasites. It's impossible to say exactly how the indoor cat got fleas, but perhaps at the boarding facility.

When and if you bring the outside cat indoors, make the transition slow and easy. Gradually introduce him to your home and your indoor cat.

"If the cats have been communicating with one another (through) the patio door, and acting calmly, you have a head start," Crowell-Davis notes.

First, take the outdoor cat to your veterinary to be checked for the feline immunodeficiency virus and feline leukemia, as well as for parasites. Once inside, keep him in a small room with a litter box, toys, food/water and a place to scratch. Visit the room frequently. Play with the cat using an interactive toy if he's willing, but don't push him to be a pal. Let the cat make the call.

Meanwhile, rotate objects belonging to each cat. For example, let toys and bedding belonging to the indoor cat appear in the room of the outdoor cat (and vice versa). Plug a Feliway diffuser into the wall in the room where each cat stays.; these emit a copy of a calming pheromone.

"When you finally bring the cats together, do so gradually," says Crowell-Davis. "And never be afraid to use treats; encourage the cats to focus on the treats rather than on one another."

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Q: My dog Mickey seems depressed after his lifelong friend, Minnie, passed away. After Minnie died, I found that taking Mickey out to play fetch helped me as much as it did him. Do dogs really grieve, or is this my imagination? -- S.C., Las Vegas, NV

A: Yes, pets can grieve.

"Our dogs and cats have the same neurotransmitters we do, and in the same parts of the brain. Why shouldn't they feel emotions?" says Dr. Allen Schoen, author of "How the Remarkable Bond Between Humans and Animals Can Change the Way We Live: Kindred Spirits" (Broadway Books, New York, NY, 2001; $14). "Pets may not feel emotions like we do. For instance, your jealous dog won't conceive a plan to shoot you because you went for a walk with another dog. I'd argue that being forgiving is perhaps more a part of the nature of our pets than it is for us. So, while it's true, dogs and cats don't feel emotions like we do, that doesn't mean they don't feel them at all."

Distracting Mickey with a game, as you're doing, makes perfect sense. And just as people need time to grieve, the same is true for pets.

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