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Sit on the floor in an empty room with her. Close the door, but provide an empty box or two for the cat to hop into. Then, simply watch TV, or read a children's story out loud (cats sometimes like that soft sing-song voice we tend to use when reading children's stories), and wait until the cat comes to you. It may take several days, but eventually curiosity will overcome caution.

Next, take over feeding the cat, even if she waits for you to leave the room to eat. Also, use an interactive cat toy (a fishing pole-type toy with fabric or feathers) to entice kitty to play. Eventually, she'll associate that fun with you.

"When all is said and done, some cats just prefer one person, and we really don't know why they make the choices they do," says Weigner. "It doesn't mean that you've done anything wrong."

Q: Grey, a feral cat, lives in my garage. He's about 2 years old and has lived there since he was only a few months old. Chester, a neighbor's cat, comes to visit often, and I feed them both. Grey depends on me now for food. The problem: I'm considering moving across town. Chester will be fine, but Grey has no one else to look after him. I'm not sure if I'm ready for another indoor pet cat after my cat passed away last October. And I don't know if Grey would adjust to being indoors. Any advice? -- J.T.S., Cyberspace

A: Winn Feline Foundation executive director Dr. Vicki Thayer, a feline veterinarian in Lebanon, OR, notes that Grey could just move to a nearby garage, and perhaps Chester's owner might take over his care.

Grey certainly knows you since you've been caring for him.

"Taking him indoors (would be) made easier by the fact that you currently don't have another cat," says Thayer. "Sometimes things just happen as they do for a reason."

As for Grey adjusting to life indoors, first decide on one room where you can close the door to offer him a place to adjust; free run of the house could be overwhelming. In this room, perhaps a den or second bedroom, provide food and water dishes on one side, and a litter box on the other. Scatter some empty boxes he can use as hiding places.

Using products like Feliway (a calming pheromone), Anxitane (L-theanine) and even a prescription diet from Royal Canin, called CALM can help reduce stress, as can catnip. Also, play with the cat using an interactive cat toy (fishing pole-type toy with feathers) This will be a great stress buster and will further bond Grey to you.

"It's all about developing trust," Thayer adds.

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