ArcaMax

The difference between your story and that of other prospective parents is that a lot of these negative feelings do migrate and dissipate as the pregnancy advances. The extremely sad series of losses you and your wife experienced robbed you of many things, including any opportunity of redemption through enthusiastic and loving parenting.

Atonement is an external way of behaving in order to try to repair a wrong.

Your ongoing guilt might be a sign that you still need to accept your actions and take responsibility for the impact of your long-ago behavior on your family.

We all make mistakes. We all behave badly. But the way to move forward is to admit your faults and frailties, and to seek to be forgiven.

Have you sincerely admitted and taken responsibility for your behavior – and asked your wife to forgive you? If not, what are you waiting for?!

You will only learn if your behavior is “unforgivable” once you are brave enough to ask for forgiveness.

Dear Amy: I’ve been with my girlfriend for five years (we’re both in our mid-20’s).

We moved in together about a year ago and both have good jobs. Her job is either more stressful than mine or maybe she just feels the stress more, but frequently when she comes home after work, she is in a foul mood. She always says she’s “hangry,” and that she feels better after she eats something.

In my opinion, this makes her pretty hard to live with.

The other night it was my turn to make dinner and she didn’t believe I was paying enough attention to what I was doing. She followed me around the kitchen, criticizing what I was doing. She went to the refrigerator and got a tub of yogurt to eat.

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