Elderly alcoholic disrupts family dynamic
She did the right thing and apologized directly to the child.
She is likely very embarrassed at this point (for good reason), and is facing the tough truth, that her drinking interferes with her most treasured relationships.
I agree with your wife that you should contact her now, not to apologize for doing the right thing, but to thank her for doing the right thing.
You can say, "Elsie, I want you to know that I appreciate you apologizing to your grandchild for your outburst. That must have been hard to do and I'm so glad you did it. It means a lot. I hope you know that we treasure you and want to spend as much time as possible with you. You are wonderful when you're sober. Your personality, however, completely changes when you're drinking. The kids and I look forward to seeing you over the holidays; we hope you'll be with us."
Dear Amy: I caught my now ex-husband lying numerous times. He loves to say he was a Vietnam vet (he was not). He was a violent binge drinker and would smash up the house. He was very abusive and beat me, held a loaded gun to my head and terrorized me. He cheated and gave me an STD.
I finally left him.
I learned he told my sister and other people that he had once been investigated for murder. He has changed the details of the story several times.
My sister refuses to tell me exactly what he said. She tells me I am "blowing it out of proportion."
How do I get her to talk?
-- Angry
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