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Grandma worries grandson looks like a granddaughter

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I sensed something was amiss as he was not in contact as much. We met for coffee and he informed me that an ex-girlfriend had texted him. He said he was torn and confused and did not feel comfortable dating more than one person. He said they had not seen each other or spoken in two years.

She ended the relationship because she was going through a divorce and the timing was less than ideal.

I was not OK being in limbo (nor was he suggesting that I should be). He continued to reach out, saying he was sick to his stomach, missed speaking, but still did not have answers as to whether it was me or her.

Against my heart's will, I told him I'd be removing myself from the situation.

It has now been two weeks of silence. I truly felt, and still do, that he was the one. I've waited 33 years for that kind of connection.

Am I naive to cling onto hope that he'll return after a month or two of exploring things with the ex? How likely would it be for him to reignite his relationship with his ex after two years of silence? -- Waiting

DEAR WAITING: You should not spend one more precious moment trying to second guess or predict this man's chances with his ex.

You knew him for a few weeks. Your relationship with him never really got off the ground. Relationships sputter for all sorts of reasons -- and despite what this man told you, you really do not know what happened between him and his ex, or between the two of you. He might be a romantic wunderkind who rushes headlong into relationships and then gets cold feet and withdraws. Or -- it is possible that every single thing he told you is true.

 

Do not cling to hope if you can help it. Lick your wounds, read Mary Oliver poetry, take long walks, and know that if it's meant to be, it will be. You are doing the right thing.

Thwarted romance makes philosophers and poets out of all of us.

DEAR AMY: I agree with your strong caution to "Challenged Boss," the boss who was being sexually propositioned by a very young employee, who wanted to exchange sexual favors for the boss to rehire another employee.

In addition to your caution that this boss should investigate other possible wrongdoing from this unethical pair, he should also consider that he is ripe to be set up for a sexual harassment lawsuit. -- Also a Boss

DEAR BOSS: Oh yes. Thank you.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)


 

 

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