ArcaMax

If her choice constitutes infidelity for you, then you have the right to say so.

There are couples who mutually agree to have sexual encounters outside of their marriages and -- at least according to some -- it doesn't negatively impact their marriage. Regardless, you have not agreed to this, and if it conflicts with your own personal ethics, you should not allow your wife to pressure you. Please, see a counselor, either with her or by yourself.

DEAR AMY: Several years ago I sold a company in a lucrative buy-out arrangement.

As a middle-age single woman, this allowed me to pursue other interests and start yet another company, which keeps me happily busy with a full plate of paperwork, contracts and correspondence.

I eat most meals out and use this time away from my hectic office to review my work. My day starts at 5:30 a.m. I love my life, but a growing problem seems to be total strangers who stop by my table to ask me who I am and "what I do." What I do is diverse and complicated and isn't really their business. I've even had waitresses and a cook come to my table to inquire.

I used to respond graciously with general statements, but this doesn't seem to cut it, and I find myself getting more abrupt, with responses such as, "I do whatever I want." Since this sounds rather pompous, I've resorted to, "I'm a hooker." Oddly, this usually gets a laugh and they walk away.

These are admittedly horrible responses. I would like your advice as to how to handle this without encouraging more conversation. Are they curious, nosy or simply rude? -- Heartland Holdout

DEAR HOLDOUT: I think these people are being friendly. They are trying to get to know the woman who always sits at the corner table at mealtime. You can't expect total privacy in a public place.

You need an answer so vague and boring that it discourages further inquiry. Years ago when I responded, "I'm a freelancer," that seemed to clear the room pretty quickly. Otherwise, "I'm a business consultant" might work. If people ask you what you consult about and you don't want to discuss it, you can say, "Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you ... hahaha!

DEAR AMY: Thank you for offering "Upset Engineer" the encouragement to pursue work in her field! I am also an engineer, and as you pointed out in your encouraging response, engineering offers many great career paths for women. I hope to see her at work soon. -- Happy Engineer

DEAR HAPPY: Several women engineers contacted me, underscoring the point that engineering is a great career.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)