ArcaMax

Don't ask them to do anything differently -- but do tell them how you feel. They may respond that they don't give you more because you are simply more capable and less needy/greedy than your sibling. However, you should also prepare yourself for the possibility that this may create stress, pressure or resentment from them.

DEAR AMY: I'm a college student on a campus where bikes are widely used, and I lent my bike to my roommate to use while I was away. She texted me, saying that she just got back to campus from a short break home and realized my bike had been stolen. Eventually she found the bike, but the basket had been removed.

Obviously I'm very glad it was found. Do I have the right to ask her to replace the stolen basket? It wasn't cheap, and I feel like since it was taken under her watch she should replace it. I don't want to be petty about it. We're great roommates. What would be the best way to bring it up? -- Conflicted

DEAR CONFLICTED: I agree with you that the bike (and basket) were your roommate's responsibility while she was using it.

Email her, saying, "I'm so relieved the bike turned up. Here's a link to where you can get a basket to replace the one that was taken." Include a link in your email and let her take it from there.

DEAR AMY: You were correct to encourage "Widow" to check with a lawyer regarding her mother-in-law's claim of unpaid debts on the part of the widow's deceased husband.

Her obligation is determined by the laws of the state in which she lives, and her mother-in-law's claim would be against the estate, not her daughter-in-law. If she has no legal claim, then it reverts to an etiquette question. -- N.C. Paralegal

DEAR PARALEGAL: Thank you.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)