Parents worry about visit by drug-addicted daughter
You and your husband should have a plan in place for what you will do if/when she relapses while she is staying with you.
Your family needs professional help in order to manage this extreme challenge -- and I hope you will get it.
*DEAR AMY: My sister's husband is a raging narcissist. He has only worked one year out of the 23 years they've been married.
After moving close to them and seeing how dysfunctional and codependent they are, I confronted her with my observations.
Naturally, she was furious and stopped talking to me.
Is there any way to tell a sibling her spouse is mentally ill? And that their marriage is an unhealthy one of total codependency?
I am so mad at him for using her for all of these years that I never want to see him again. Advice? -- Angry Sister
DEAR SISTER: So far, your own choices have resulted in complete alienation from the person you claim you are trying to help. So -- good job with that.
If you were a mental health professional, you might have some standing to "diagnose" your brother-in-law and pass judgment on your sister. But if you were a mental health professional you would know better than to charge into someone else's marriage, declaring it -- and the people in it -- to be sick.
You should ask your sister to forgive you for judging and interfering with her marriage, and then you should do what you can to repair the relationship with her. Having a healthy and supportive relationship with you would be the best thing for her. I hope you can manage it.
DEAR AMY: "Car Poor" described the discomfort of having a friend who is a terrible driver and yet periodically wants to borrow the couple's car. Most insurance plans will not cover drivers not listed on the plan. If anything happened in the borrowed car, it could be disastrous. -- Worried
DEAR WORRIED: Many readers pointed this out. Thank you all.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)
