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Bowlers roll gutter ball in choice to exclude

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I'm going to assume that none of this inspires you, and so I'll leave you with this: If your members are too lazy, inept or unwilling to drive as little as 10 extra miles to preserve their exclusivity, then perhaps your league is not as "special" as you think.

DEAR AMY: My daughter is due to be married in the fall to a wonderful boy. However, there are issues with his mother, who has done all she can to make my daughter feel unwelcome in the family. She has made inappropriate comments about sensitive issues regarding OUR family.

She reached out to me, too. I was shocked at the level of antipathy she has for her future daughter-in-law. When I mentioned this to her, even asking, "Do you even like my daughter?" She said, "Yes! I just have issues letting go of my son."

For his part, my future son-in-law, who is a good man, has let his parents know how he feels about their behavior.

Both parents claim they will try to improve, but then they go back to the same backhanded tactics to control both of them (through disapproval if they don't attend family functions, sending "family" letters about how to conduct oneself, and encouraging other family members to join in).

I am wondering what my daughter and future son-in-law can do to solve this issue. -- Frustrated Mom

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your daughter and her future husband should push back every single time a boundary is crossed or she is disrespected. The in-laws have admitted their destructive actions, and the young couple will have to re-train them to behave appropriately.

 

Otherwise, the in-laws won't have so much trouble letting go of their son, because he will let go of them.

DEAR AMY: "Distraught" was upset because his boyfriend wouldn't be "out" with him. Perhaps he needs to ask if he is part of the problem. He describes his partner's parents as "extremely religious and ignorant." It sounds to me that his definition of ignorant is "anyone who doesn't agree with me." -- Observant Reader

DEAR OBSERVANT: Good point.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)


 

 

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