Ask the Pediatrician: How to manage screen time and temper tantrums

Turn the conversation into a shared plan. Children and teens find it easier to accept tech limits when there are common-sense rules in place, especially if they have a voice in creating them.

Your plan will reflect your needs and lifestyle, defining which kinds of content are OK for kids and which are off-limits. You can specify times when digital devices must be put away—for example, during meals, family outings or conversations.

Emphasize that the rules are for everyone.

Kids of all ages will resent limits that adults don't follow themselves. If you find yourself glancing at your phone or tablet constantly when you're with your kids, reconsider your habits. When you make a mistake, simply acknowledge it and reconnect with your child. "Please forgive me for texting just now. Let me put my phone away so we can talk."

Despite your best-laid plans, tech meltdowns WILL happen. They're especially likely when children are tired, hungry, restless or stressed out after a long day. In fact, craving screen time might be a sign they're trying to cope with these feelings. Here are suggestions for helping children manage when it's time to stop surfing.

Though dealing with a screaming, sullen child is never easy, remind yourself to take a few deep breaths. Pausing before speaking or acting can help you maintain the calm you need to help your child.

This isn't the time to go over the rules, since a child in meltdown mode can't think logically. Simply hold your ground, using as few words as possible: "I know it's tough, but it's time to put your tablet away."

Most video game consoles, tablets and devices have built in time settings that you can use. Before they play, remind your child of the time limit and what their plan is for using that time. The device can ping them a reminder when it's time to stop.

All that said, no two children are alike. If you've found warnings are useful for your child, consider using a timer they set themselves. This models the idea of self-regulation and helps kids feel more in control.

Kids can benefit from having a spot where they can go to calm down. This might be a quiet corner in the family room, a bedroom nook or any other place where they feel safe.

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