1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don't hit back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask ...Read More

A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep."

"That's a lot of sheep," replied the other farmer.

"And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer.

"That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer.

"And 40 bulls," ...Read More

DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed - Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

DINING ...Read More

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.

"Darn!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"

A woman answered her front door and found Little Johnny and Billy holding a list. "Lady," Johnny explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon ...Read More

Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but ...Read More