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Mueller indictments prove one thing: Hillary Clinton is to blame!

By Rex Huppke, Tribune Content Agency on

You might say, "Gee, couldn't it be true that Clinton engaged in some dodgy behavior AND people around Trump also engaged in dodgy behavior?"

No. The answer is no. It was decided years ago that there can only be one dodgy person, and it's Clinton. I don't make the rules. (Fox News does.)

Knowing that, here's what we know based on what we have been programmed to think we know:

When she wasn't busy killing people or loading our precious uranium supplies into Russian nuclear warheads in exchange for money she used to fund a pizza parlor that served as a front for a child sex ring, Clinton convinced Trump's adult children to advise Trump to hire Manafort to run his presidential campaign.

She even bribed Trump advocate Newt Gingrich to glowingly tweet: "Nobody should underestimate how much Paul Manafort did to really help get this campaign to where it is right now."

For years before that, Clinton forced Manafort and his business associate Gates to make bazillions of dollars doing political work for Putin-hugging politicos in Ukraine. She then forced them to launder much of that money, setting them up for future charges.

Paying attention even to tiny details, Clinton had the Trump campaign encourage only one change to the GOP platform at its 2016 convention: the removal of language that suggested the United States arm Ukrainians to help them push back against Russian aggression. Clever move, Clinton.

It's clear from Mueller's court documents -- if you read between the lines with your head in a microwave -- that the Russia-connected "overseas professor" who met Papadopoulos was actually Clinton wearing a costume. She is known as a master of disguise, which explains how she hid her identity while shooting President John F. Kennedy, raiding the U.S. consulate in Benghazi and being Charles Manson.

During the presidential campaign, she covertly started chants of "LOCK HER UP!" at Trump rallies, knowing that people who wanted her to go to prison for violating government email rules might later look silly when they shrugged off 12-count federal indictments against Trump supporters as "nothing burgers."

These facts I'm highlighting should be more than enough to show that Clinton was involved in a wide-ranging conspiracy to create a conspiracy against Trump, one that he and his followers would believe is a conspiracy for which she was to blame. (That woman is devious!!)

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