The U.S. death toll from the coronavirus reached 200,000 Tuesday.
That staggeringly grim count came less than a day after President Donald Trump, rambling like a clueless loon before a crowd of largely maskless Ohioans, said the coronavirus “affects virtually nobody” under 18.
It was more deceptive, idiotic nonsense from the man who is ...Read more
Hello, fellow patriots. My name is Rex Huppke and I’m a proud member of President Donald Trump’s Council On Patriotism-Inducing Coronavirus Vaccines That Will Be Ready In Two Weeks.
We here at the Council On Patriotism-Inducing Coronavirus Vaccines That Will Be Ready In Two Weeks have a surprise announcement: President Trump will soon ...Read more
As President Donald Trump continues to recklessly paint mail-in ballots as nefarious liberal creations, as he tweets and squawks nonsensically about a “rigged election,” there is silence from Republican lawmakers.
They remain quiet as jellyfish, unable to muster a single vertebra let alone a collective spine, while a sitting president ...Read more
I can tell you this: If there’s one thing President Donald Trump does not want to do, it’s create a panic.
Tweet from Trump, Sept. 10, 2020: “If I don’t win, America’s Suburbs will be OVERRUN with Low Income Projects, Anarchists, Agitators, Looters and, of course, ‘Friendly Protesters’.”
Many Americans are outraged ...Read more
Great news, fellow Americans. Our tax dollars may now be used to help defend President Donald Trump in a defamation lawsuit brought by a woman who claims Trump raped her!
I don’t know about you all, but when I think about how I want the government to use my money, the first thing that comes to mind is: Keep America safe. But the second thing ...Read more
Video from police body cameras shows Daniel Prude, a 41-year-old Black man from Chicago, being suffocated by police officers on a street in Rochester, New York, on a cold, early morning in March. Prude died seven days later after his family had him removed from life support.
You need to watch that video.
Prude’s death happened two months ...Read more
After weeks of patently false claims that Joe Biden hasn’t condemned violence and looting stemming from protests across the country, President Donald Trump on Monday refused to condemn the 17-year-old Illinoisan charged with shooting and killing two protesters in Kenosha.
“We’re looking at all of it,” Trump said. “That was an ...Read more
Regular readers of this column know that, from time to time, I receive emails that are not entirely flattering.
They generally involve helpful critiques like: “You (expletive) suck”; “Your a (expletive) idiot”; or “You stupid (expletive) (expletive), every (expletive) word you write is (expletive), go (expletive) yourself in the (...Read more
Steve Bannon, President Donald Trump’s former chief strategist, has always looked and sounded to me like someone who should be arrested for fleecing rubes.
On Thursday, his destiny was realized.
Bannon became the latest person in Trump’s orbit to get arrested, charged along with three other Trump enthusiasts and accused of defrauding “...Read more
Hello, I am with the Republican Party and would like to reassure all real (Trump-supporting) Americans that the U.S. Postal Service is just fine and you have no reason to worry about the security of the upcoming election.
As I reassure you that our mail system is not being tampered with in any way, I hope you’ll excuse the noise in the ...Read more
Presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden’s decision to choose Sen. Kamala Harris as his running mate leaves President Donald “Scared” Trump with little choice — he needs to dump Vice President Mike Pence.
I know, it’s a shame for both Trump and Pence. The two seemed like a match made in a strange and wildly inaccurate version of ...Read more
As President Donald Trump has said, we must reopen America’s schools, and it can be done with 100 percent safety as long as children promise to patriotically not get the coronavirus.
I’ll explain how that’s done in a moment, but first, let’s look at the facts.
If we want our country to get back to normal and our children to learn the ...Read more
Janari Ricks was a smart kid. He would’ve been a fourth grader this fall. Good at math. Loved sports. Full of energy.
The kind of kid you’d love to meet.
Same with Caleb Reed, a 17-year-old gun violence activist, a student at Mather High School. Passionate. Outspoken. Confident beyond his years.
But you won’t meet Caleb. Or Janari. Or 7...Read more
President Donald Trump is right — Joe Biden, a known supporter of evil and Marxism and America-hating, wants to abolish the suburbs.
But it’s worse than that. The Democratic presidential candidate and former vice president doesn’t just seek to abolish, he wants to bulldoze, befoul and hold pagan rituals on the ashes of the suburbs. He ...Read more
To the mask-wearing and socially distanced few, the ones dutifully doing their part to slow the spread of the coronavirus here in Chicago and across the country, this is for you.
Share it with the mask-less. Hand it to the stubborn, the uninformed and those who think they’re invincible. Give it to the liberty fetishists who believe the world ...Read more
All right, you little whippersnappers, listen up. I’ve had it with all the whining and griping about the “coronavirus pandemic” and the “debate over whether to open schools in the fall” and all that lily-livered blah-blah.
You brats are going to listen to me and to your president, Donald J. Trump, and you’re going to march your ...Read more
If I had to choose between spending time with one good dog or five good people, I’d pick the dog every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
That may sound anti-social, but it’s a pragmatic choice, driven by data.
People, even the good ones, have more flaws than dogs. People, even the good ones, struggle to love without conditions. And ...Read more