Politics, Moderate
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Time to update the Statue of Liberty
Our recent missile attack on Syria has led me to believe it's time to revamp the Statue of Liberty.
The two things might seem unrelated, but hear me out.
So far this year, the United States has allowed 11 Syrian refugees into the country. That is roughly one-sixth the number of Tomahawk cruise missiles we fired into Syria last week in a ...Read more
Stormy Daniels is America's first lady -- it just makes sense
I have some interesting news: The real first lady of the United States of America is Stormy Daniels.
I've gone over this in my mind, backward and forward, and basic logic dictates that I'm right.
Hear me out:
Donald Trump is president of the United States.
Stormy Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, is an adult-film actress who ...Read more
Why does the Department of Homeland Security refuse to reunite this mother and child?
There is a girl being detained in Chicago who shouldn't be here.
She's 7. She and her mother fled Congo and arrived in Southern California in November seeking asylum. They followed all the rules, passed an initial screening that found they have a strong case for asylum, and then were separated with no explanation. The mother remained at an ...Read more
Winter Olympics lack realism; how about snow shoveling?
The start of the Winter Olympics coincided with a significant winter storm here in Chicago, and somewhere between my fifth trip out to shovel the sidewalk and my third pulled muscle, I reached a conclusion fans of these Olympic games might not appreciate: The Winter Olympics lack realism.
"But wait!" the Olympic faithful cry. "What's more real ...Read more
Trump's State of the Union show: A very real sneak peek
As one of America's pre-eminent journalists, I have close ties to the White House and was able to obtain this extremely authentic and in no way fabricated advance copy of President Donald Trump's upcoming State of the Union address.
Breaking with tradition, he has titled it: "The State of MY Union Show."
It is, as you might expect, the best ...Read more
Paddington's pro-bear propaganda poses a threat to all Americans
High-profile news events like the government shutdown and the massive women's marches held across the country over the weekend have drawn the average American's attention away from a significant threat: Paddington.
The movie "Paddington 2" -- about a talking bear who lives in England and, for some reason, doesn't terrify people -- has become a ...Read more
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