Donald Trump is doing an excellent job creating a fantasy world — let’s call it “the MAGA-verse” — in which he won the 2020 presidential election.
On regular planet Earth, of course, Trump lost. By a good margin. The vote count shows that, as does the fact that the Trump campaign’s desperate, and often disgraceful, claims of voter ...Read more
If one thing’s clear in the wake of President-elect Joe Biden’s victory over President Donald Trump, it’s that liberals like me need to reach out to people who spent the past four years dehumanizing us and show empathy.
I’m told this cannot wait and it’s wholly incumbent upon us, the liberals, to spend time trying to ...Read more
The key question this holiday gift-giving season is simple: What do you get for the person who only wants this godforsaken year to end?
That person is most of us. We’ve had enough. We want little more than for the hands of time to get a move on and propel us out of 2020, a tragically ongoing year that has achieved synonymity with the term “...Read more
As we enter the final week of the campaign — a week I plan to spend alphabetizing my barrels of existential angst — it seems valuable to note the closing messages coming from President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden.
Put simply, Biden’s message, whether you like it or not, is one of unity, of bringing the country ...Read more
We now know, with certainty, that the Trump administration has bravely surrendered to the coronavirus pandemic and plans on doing nothing to slow the spread of a disease that has already claimed 225,000 American lives.
On Sunday, White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows said this during a CNN interview: “We are not going to control the ...Read more
A second stimulus check for American workers struggling through the coronavirus pandemic is unlikely to come anytime soon. That’s the bad news.
The good news for people unable to pay rent or buy luxury products like food or shoes for their children is that their sacrifice will help Republican lawmakers maintain their long-standing commitment ...Read more
As hospitals fill up with COVID-19 patients in Wisconsin, President Donald Trump is calling medical professionals “idiots.”
As most states across the country face rising coronavirus numbers and hospitalizations, the president effectively says he’s “tired” of it all.
Of course he didn’t use the first person. He always puts his own ...Read more
President Donald Trump thinks he’s handling the coronavirus pandemic so well he started dancing at a campaign rally this week.
Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell, during a debate in Kentucky, had a long laugh when the pandemic was brought up.
And Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s personal attorney, said Monday night: “People don’t die of this ...Read more
On June 11, 2001, I stood in a tight, gray-walled room at a federal penitentiary in Terre Haute, Indiana, and watched through a window as Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh, expressionless and strapped to a gurney in the execution chamber, took his final breaths.
Despite my misgivings about the death penalty, it was hard for me to see it as ...Read more
For about two minutes during Wednesday night’s vice presidential debate, a large, black fly planted itself on Vice President Mike Pence’s white hair.
It may have been the most compelling live television of 2020. A nation in dire need of something good to cling to sat fascinated, wondering if the fly might remain atop Pence’s ...Read more
I don’t mean to sound conspiratorial, but I think godless DEMONcrats have intentionally infected President Donald Trump, several Republican senators and a number of military and religious leaders with the coronavirus.
How else can we explain the fact that Republicans, who wisely question the seriousness of this so-called pandemic, seem to be ...Read more
I was scrubbing the upstairs bathroom tub, listening to a track from the 1972 film adaptation of the Broadway musical “Cabaret” and thinking about masculinity.
What prompted this — the thoughts on masculinity, not the tub scrubbing or “Cabaret” listening — was a new book by comedian Michael Ian Black. It’s called “A Better Man,�...Read more
The U.S. death toll from the coronavirus reached 200,000 Tuesday.
That staggeringly grim count came less than a day after President Donald Trump, rambling like a clueless loon before a crowd of largely maskless Ohioans, said the coronavirus “affects virtually nobody” under 18.
It was more deceptive, idiotic nonsense from the man who is ...Read more
Hello, fellow patriots. My name is Rex Huppke and I’m a proud member of President Donald Trump’s Council On Patriotism-Inducing Coronavirus Vaccines That Will Be Ready In Two Weeks.
We here at the Council On Patriotism-Inducing Coronavirus Vaccines That Will Be Ready In Two Weeks have a surprise announcement: President Trump will soon ...Read more
As President Donald Trump continues to recklessly paint mail-in ballots as nefarious liberal creations, as he tweets and squawks nonsensically about a “rigged election,” there is silence from Republican lawmakers.
They remain quiet as jellyfish, unable to muster a single vertebra let alone a collective spine, while a sitting president ...Read more
I can tell you this: If there’s one thing President Donald Trump does not want to do, it’s create a panic.
Tweet from Trump, Sept. 10, 2020: “If I don’t win, America’s Suburbs will be OVERRUN with Low Income Projects, Anarchists, Agitators, Looters and, of course, ‘Friendly Protesters’.”
Many Americans are outraged ...Read more
Great news, fellow Americans. Our tax dollars may now be used to help defend President Donald Trump in a defamation lawsuit brought by a woman who claims Trump raped her!
I don’t know about you all, but when I think about how I want the government to use my money, the first thing that comes to mind is: Keep America safe. But the second thing ...Read more
Video from police body cameras shows Daniel Prude, a 41-year-old Black man from Chicago, being suffocated by police officers on a street in Rochester, New York, on a cold, early morning in March. Prude died seven days later after his family had him removed from life support.
You need to watch that video.
Prude’s death happened two months ...Read more
After weeks of patently false claims that Joe Biden hasn’t condemned violence and looting stemming from protests across the country, President Donald Trump on Monday refused to condemn the 17-year-old Illinoisan charged with shooting and killing two protesters in Kenosha.
“We’re looking at all of it,” Trump said. “That was an ...Read more
Regular readers of this column know that, from time to time, I receive emails that are not entirely flattering.
They generally involve helpful critiques like: “You (expletive) suck”; “Your a (expletive) idiot”; or “You stupid (expletive) (expletive), every (expletive) word you write is (expletive), go (expletive) yourself in the (...Read more