If I had to choose between spending time with one good dog or five good people, I’d pick the dog every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
That may sound anti-social, but it’s a pragmatic choice, driven by data.
People, even the good ones, have more flaws than dogs. People, even the good ones, struggle to love without conditions. And ...Read more
Faced with a raging coronavirus pandemic and widespread protests in the wake of the police killing of George Floyd, Americans are doing what they do best: stocking up on guns.
Unlike people in other developed nations, we Americans hold dear the belief that there’s no tragedy, no societal shift and no moment of conspiracy-driven paranoia that ...Read more
Call me a worrier, but I’ve never understood the aggressive push to “reopen” America in the absence of a COVID-19 vaccine, a reliable treatment and a universal commitment to mask-wearing and social distancing.
Whether here in Illinois, where political leaders have at least tried to follow the science behind the disease, or in states where...Read more
President Donald Trump is getting back to holding rallies, and his first Joyous Festival of Narcissism, Anger and Disease will be Saturday night in Oklahoma, a veritable “WHO’s Who” of who might get the coronavirus.
If you thought huge crowds of people gathering outdoors during a pandemic to protest systemic racism in America’s police ...Read more
As an ardent supporter of (our great) President Donald Trump, I say it’s high time he demand formal apologies from his two most notorious and dishonest critics: numbers and words.
Let’s start with numbers, which, thanks to extreme radical-leftist concepts like “math,” have become outspoken critics of the president, showing absolutely no...Read more
Just when it seemed the year 2020 had fully embraced an “All Bad News, All The Time” format, the U.S. Supreme Court let some light break through our dark days.
In a landmark 6-3 decision, the court ruled that employers can’t fire lesbian, gay or transgender people simply for being who they are. The ruling says Title VII of the Civil ...Read more
I don’t think police officers should be plunked down in the looted South Side office of a U.S. congressman, making coffee and munching microwaved popcorn, while nearby businesses are being looted.
They shouldn’t be hurling homophobic slurs, either. Or making obscene gestures. Or pulling a woman out of her car by her hair and holding her ...Read more
The truth about antifa is coming out. (If you’re unsure what antifa is, or if you’re not afraid of antifa, please go watch Fox News for a few hours and then return to this column with your trousers appropriately soiled.)
President Donald Trump has accused a 75-year-old Roman Catholic peace activist critically injured by police during a ...Read more
As an astute observer of present-day presidential politics, I’m baffled by the way presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is behaving.
The most immediate example, of course, is that he spent time Monday traveling to Texas to meet in person with the family of George Floyd. He was the black man killed by a white Minneapolis ...Read more
We’ll see the video of George Floyd being killed over and over again.
Each time, anyone with a shred of humanity will recoil watching a black man, handcuffed and face down on the asphalt, slowly and painfully die with a white Minneapolis police officer’s knee on his neck.
It’s a slow-motion murder. And like the videotaped deaths of ...Read more
The Republican National Convention, a humbly massive celebration of the awesomeness of President Donald Trump, is scheduled for August in North Carolina, but it may have to relocate.
“Why?” you ask, your voice not muffled by the tyranny of a liberal coronavirus mask. Because, as President Trump tweeted on Memorial Day, taking time away from...Read more
Hello, and welcome to the White House, where everything is fine and we are encouraging Americans to be warriors and get out there, get back to work and face the coronavirus head-on. Please excuse this recorded message. We are currently experiencing a coronavirus outbreak that is being handled perfectly.
Before entering, we must ask you to ...Read more
This will be a Mother's Day like no other.
Locked down. Zoom-centric, maybe. Minus the brunches out, the picnics in crowded parks. Absent the big gatherings. In some cases, hug-less, hard as that is to imagine.
No Mother's Day crafts coming home from school. No misshapen ceramic knickknacks from first grade art ...Read more
Ladies and gentlemen, I realize we're in the midst of a deadly global pandemic, but please pay attention to our very dumb president.
On Sunday, as more than 1,000 Americans died of COVID-19, Donald Trump sent the following three tweets:
"When will all of the 'reporters' who have received Noble Prizes for their work on Russia, Russia, Russia, ...Read more
It seems the Fox News network -- which is as much a "news network" as I am a "banana cream pie" -- is trying to kill off its audience.
Not directly, of course. I'm not suggesting Tucker Carlson has murder on his mind.
But the network's coverage of the coronavirus pandemic does appear perplexingly aimed at reducing the number of people alive ...Read more