Donald Trump, our first millennial president
WASHINGTON -- Everybody -- but especially the olds -- loves to hate on millennials. We're lazy, entitled, emotionally stunted, spendthrift, narcissistic, promiscuous snowflakes.
And yet my fellow Americans: You recently made one of us leader of the free world.
Oh sure, President Trump was not technically born between 1982 and 2000, the rough bookends for the millennial cohort. But if Bill Clinton was once our "first black president," surely Trump can be our first millennial president.
At least if you believe all those stereotypes about my generation.
Millennials are often maligned as believing everybody gets a trophy just for showing up. Yet no public figure demands more participation trophies than Trump, who last week awarded himself a 10 out of 10 for his response to the humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico.
This despite the fact that as of Monday -- more than a month after Hurricane Maria hit -- four-fifths of the island still has no power. A quarter lacks clean drinking water.
This is hardly the first time Trump has insisted upon, or even invented, accolades to celebrate his own mediocrity. He claimed to have received environmental awards that never existed. His golf courses displayed fake Time magazine covers featuring his face.
He touts graduation honors he never received, perhaps hoping for retroactive grade inflation. He alleges he's coined words and phrases that long predate him, then suggests that his originality warrants public adulation.
Or maybe a second scoop of ice cream.
Like our stereotypical millennial, Trump also has a knack for making every situation somehow about himself.