Colluding Democrats overwhelmed by the basics of running a campaign
Who needs Russia, North Korea, Iran or any other members of the Hacksis of Evil to sabotage our elections? We've got Iowa. We don't need the Republican Party to suppress the vote of Democrats; the Democrats are able to do the dirty work without any outside assistance, thank you very much. At least the ones in Iowa.
But let's give debit where debit is due: The party, which seems hellbent on forfeiting another election to Donald Trump, came up with a really creative way to embarrass itself. It's creative and oh so modern. The untested smartphone app they foolishly relied on to quickly calculate the results of their caucuses crashed and burned, a fiasco that left them with tech on their face. Instead of providing momentum to the various candidates to spin the count in ways that were favorable to them, they were sent packing to New Hampshire with their Iowa puffery deflated.
We didn't need this reminder that Iowa is a dopey place to start a presidential campaign, with its largely rural, 90% white population that in no way reflects the demographics of the United States. The only thing dopier is that the second state, New Hampshire, is even whiter.
Who had any earthly idea that Iowa would dominate the news past the Monday night caucuses? The way it usually works is we all strike the set and suddenly head off, never to visit Iowa again for three years or so, until we once again start to focus on the next presidential election. But this time, to put it in newscast terms, the Des Moines Debacle was a lead story far beyond its shelf life.
The way the week was supposed to play out was that the caucus should have been a distant memory in show producers' minds. If they took the Mike Pompeo test, and were required to locate Iowa on a map, they would fail miserably.
This was a week that had a State of the Union address the next night, although it appeared to be more like a British soccer match where the players and spectators were all hooligans. Usually State of the Unions are faux dignified affairs, even when it's Donald Trump delivering the address. Nobody even tried to pretend this time.
The Trumpster brought his usual bag of schticks along, while Democratic members of Congress heckled from the floor. Even House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who is decorum personified, tore up her copy of his speech at the end of it, on camera, as Trump was just departing. She was clearly not making confetti to celebrate with him. One can only imagine what she would do next year. Would she display the universal gesture of defiance? The possibilities boggle the mind.
Of course, next year's State of the Union with President Donald Trump is the Democrats' nightmares, but they are doing everything in their power, or lack thereof, to make it a reality.
The bomb they dropped to blow up the Trump presidency turned out to be a dud. Back to our newscast, after the Democratic majority in the House impeached the president, his acquittal in the Senate turned out to be such a ho hum story, it was consigned to the broadcast's "in other news" section. What is a story is his vow of revenge against anybody who crossed him. As president of the United States, the don has the power to inflict pain.
The election is nearly nine months away, which in political time is, uh, nine months. That's an eternity, but from this early vantage point, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin don't need to collude. The Democrats are colliding with each other and, as we witnessed in Iowa, they were overwhelmed by even the basics of running a campaign, or for that matter, the basics of running a modern life. Still, they insist they are determined to defeat President Trump, but so far they are only flogging each other, which is a sure way to lose.
(c) 2020 Bob Franken
Distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc.