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If Moms Are ‘Birthing People,’ What Do We Call Dads on Father’s Day?

John Kass, Tribune Content Agency on

If moms are “birthing persons” then what are dads on Father’s Day?

Americans are being bombarded with ads for gifts for that special day for fathers. Should I say “sperm contributors” in preparation for our complete capitulation to the woke?

The “sperm contributor” in your life may want that leather chair, or aftershave he’ll never use, a box of fine Maduro cigars, a fly-fishing shirt, or perhaps Orwell’s “1984” and a bottle of Glenmorangie 18 to wash it down.

And on the special day of the gifts, he might want to grill something for the children and the “birthing person” who brought them into the world.

That’s what mothers are called now, by the federal government, some scientists and by the left: “birthing persons.”

Orwell was right, the first thing they do is ratchet down the language to squeeze the life out of your mind.

 

President Joe Biden’s federal budget proposal in a section on infant mortality rates officially calls mothers birthing people. As does the Harvard Medical School, the National Institutes of Health and other agencies. Democrats use “birthing persons” but sometimes hedge their bets and also use “mothers.” The stress must hurt really bad.

So, rather than call people stupid fools for not applauding this trend, I decided on a radical plan: asking people what they thought of it.

Most women who are mothers don’t like the “birthing person” bit. But I didn’t have the heart to tell them they’ll be sent to a reeducation camp if they persist.

“I’m not a birthing person” said Linda Blanco, “those were the medical personnel on hand when my female body gave birth to my children. I became a mother prior to the birthing process when I carried the children in my womb. If ‘birthing person’ replaces mother, what term replaces father? ‘Sperm contributor?’ ”

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