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A warning to Trump and Republicans: Leave the nation of CHAZ/CHOP alone!

By John Kass, Tribune Content Agency on

To the good people of CHAZ:

Greetings and salutations, my lefty friends! I’m going help you build your experimental new revolutionary nation — now that you have your borders and armed militia — right in the middle of Seattle.

CHAZ is the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone, made up of several blocks of Seattle that were commandeered by protesters when the cops were told to pull back and let the “people” just loot what they wanted and run their own lives.

“You are now leaving the USA,” says a sign at the border of CHAZ.

Some of the citizens of CHAZ don’t like the name and want it changed to CHOP (Capitol Hill Occupied Protest).

I’m confused. And so are they.

 

But the CHOPitistas, or CHAZians, do have a collective farm, armed guards, snacks, art projects and most likely poetry readings of approved texts. And, they reportedly even have a “tax” on people and remaining businesses to help with “operations,” but that just might be royalist propaganda.

Building a new nation isn’t easy, my CHAZian friends. But to prove I support true diversity, I’ll write your Konstitushun, so you may organize yourselves, from your collective farms to your appropriate sports activities, and even how best to wear your underwear.

If you follow the Konstitushun of CHAZ/CHOP, you’ll at least be sure to keep your plants alive, so you won’t go hungry and begin cannibalizing the weak, whom you care so much about.

The first article of the Konstitushun specifies that all plants must be nourished with Brawndo.

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