Donald Trump's dog
Rex has a plan. Rex will hire his friends to work with him. I will pick them, Rex says. I will give them top jobs. It will be fun. Rex has many friends. Rex's friends work hard. They dig for oil, too.
But Donald says: Bad Rex! You may not hire friends. Only friends of Donald can work in your house, Rex. Rex is so mad. Rex growls. Rex barks. Rex wants to bite Donald. But Rex cannot bite his owner. Rex rolls over again. Rex wants to play dead.
Rex has a friend named Qatar. Qatar has ships. Qatar wants to sail the ships. But Qatar's neighbors will not let Qatar sail. They make a blockade. Rex calls a meeting. Rex is mad. Rex says: Stop the blockade. Rex says: I speak for the U.S.A.
Uh-oh. Rex has been bad again. Do not listen to Rex, Donald says. Rex's friend Qatar is bad. Qatar should not sail ships, Donald says. Rex licks his wounds.
Rex flies his plane to Europe. Rex is up high in the sky. Rex is having fun. Rex forgets that he does not speak for the U.S.A. Rex says Donald talked about sanctions with Putin.
Bad Rex! Donald is mad at his dog. Donald is very, very mad. Donald says he did not talk about sanctions with Putin. Donald neuters Rex. What a shame, Rex.
Rex flies his jet to Mexico. Rex says: I speak for the U.S.A. We want to be your friends.
Rex has done it again. Silly, Rex. You do not speak for the U.S.A, Donald says. Mexicans are "bad dudes." Donald says we do not want to be friends. Rex puts his tail between his legs.
Donald likes other dogs better than Rex. Donald lets them work with him in the White House. They are small dogs. They laugh at Rex. Rex says people in the U.S.A. should "sleep well." Rex says they should not worry about Rocket Man. The other dogs yip. They yap. They say: Rex does not speak for the U.S.A. Roll over, Rex, they say. Rex rolls over.
What did you say, Donald? Donald will send Rex to a farm? Donald will put Rex to sleep?
See Rex run. Run, Rex, run!
Follow Dana Milbank on Twitter, @Milbank.
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