Vital to a child’s sense of well-being are parents who act competent to provide adequate provision and protection under any and all circumstances.
I often refer to that obligation as “acting like a superior being.” It requires, under the most trying circumstances, keeping one’s cool, projecting a sense of having it all together, not ...Read more
Blaise Pascal (1623 – 1662) said there is no idea so bizarre that a philosopher has not advanced it. These days, the philosophers in question are psychologists and the bizarre ideas are their explanations of human behavior. Said explanations are bizarre because (trust me on this, I am one) psychologists wear, as a rule, ideological blinders ...Read more
I’ve learned a new word! My daughter informs me that according to some mothers I am guilty of “mom-shaming” and should be ashamed of myself. I am a unashamed mom-shamer because I happen to believe that just as there is one proper way to go about training a dog (of any species), there is one proper way to go about raising a human being to ...Read more
Question: Our daughter, our first and only, is just short of three-and-one-half. She has recently started coming into our room in the middle of the night and making a request of one sort or another. She wants one of us to accompany her to the bathroom, get her a drink of water, listen to something she’s thought up or something she ...Read more
This concludes my three-part series on the Ten Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and how to stop making them!). For the first two columns in the series, go to johnrosemond.com. The mistakes covered to date include:
1. Explaining oneself to one’s children. This common blunder is why so many children are called “argumentative” when they ...Read more
One of the “secrets” to a happy, healthy emotional life is to identify one’s bad, nonproductive habits and replace them with habits – slowly built – that are functional. That same principle is of the essence when it comes to a parenting life that is satisfying.
Most parents who want to do a good job but feel frustrated in the attempt ...Read more
Question: I’m new to reading you, but it appears that you don’t have much in common with other psychologists. You don’t agree much with about their approach to children and parenting. Correct?
Answer: Correct. I’ve been licensed to practice psychology since 1979. Since then, I’ve concluded that psychology is an ...Read more
Question: Your recent series on punishment was thought-provoking. I agree children should have consequences when they misbehave. Nonetheless, would you please clarify when punishment becomes excessive? What is the line between reasonable and too much? When I was young, I was spanked with a belt on numerous occasions. I always felt, and ...Read more
Question: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his ex-wife were not up to parental responsibilities. He says he’s cleaned up his act and wants a relationship with his daughter. She ...Read more
This is the last (for a while, anyway) of three columns in which I take on the absurd notion that punishing children for bad behavior is bad parenting. (The previous are on my website at johnrosemond.com.) There is commonsense and there is nonsense and the absurd notion in question belongs squarely in the latter category.
Paradoxically, the ...Read more
This is the second in a series on “parent-babble,” as in the same-old, same-old nonsense the mental health industry has been passing off as sound parenting advice since the late 1960s.
Last week, I skewered an online article by mindfulness parenting coach Hunter Clarke-Fields in which she references psychologist Alan Kazdin, director of the...Read more
I am often asked how long I intend to keep this up, as in writing this column, writing books, and speaking on childrearing and family matters. My answer: As long as they keep it up; “it” being the utter nonsense that emanates and has been emanating from the mental health professional community since the late 1960s, nonsense that corresponds ...Read more
With the release of “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” inquiring minds want to know: What did I think of Mr. Rogers?
I never met the man, but in the early days of my fatherhood, I watched Rogers’ show enough to figure out that as was also the case with Captain Kangaroo and other children’s television personalities he was working a ...Read more
Question: “You’ve accused mothers of being in co-dependent relationships with their children,” she (a journalist) said, then asked, “What is co-dependency, exactly, and how does it apply to today’s mothers?”
Answer: Great question! One that cuts right to the core of America’s parenting problem. A co-dependent relationship consists...Read more
Question: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s included in events where there’s lots of excitement and anticipation in the air, he has a reputation for becoming very impulsive, loud...Read more