I was roommates with a girl five years ago. I was a spoiled brat for many years, but I've worked very hard to change. She, on the other hand, is still supported by her father, has no job or interests, and just wants to get married. Whenever she calls, she wants advice on the same boy drama. I just don't have the time or patience for this ...Read more
I recently had my addiction recovery memoir published. I'm very honest and vulnerable in it, and readers feel super-connected to me because of it. Most just briefly thank me for how it changed their life, etc. However, a few have really latched on to me via social media. I respond to their first message, and then they write back with pretty ...Read more
I hate to be trite, but my wife and I are experiencing "lesbian bed death." We've been happily married for three years. I'm not sure why we're not having sex. Sure, we're both busy, but it's more a question of just not ever feeling the urge. I know sex is important for a relationship, and I'm worried. Is there a way to reboot our sex life? -...Read more
I'm a 45-year-old single guy seeking a long-term relationship. My problem is that when I'm interacting with a woman I'm attracted to, my ability to read whether she's interested in me goes out the window. I suspect I've missed out on some great women because I couldn't read their signals quickly enough. -- Disappointed
Where you go ...Read more
I'm a man in my 60s. Looking back on my romantic life, I was always the guy women spent time with when their husband or boyfriend wasn't paying attention to them or while they waited for the right guy (status, power, money) to show up. I'm good-looking, but I realize from reading you that I never had enough "mate value," never mastering the ...Read more
I'm a 20-something single woman. I just moved to a new city where I don't know anybody. I'd like to meet people, but I work from home, and I'm pretty shy. The idea of having to earn people's acceptance in a new environment (and possibly making a mess of it) leaves me tempted to stay home with Netflix and my cat.
To be human is ...Read more
My wife and I got married eight months ago. Whatever I suggest for the apartment -- a paint color, a bathroom fixture -- my wife immediately dismisses. For example, the living room couch she wanted was too huge for the space: a really awkward, uncomfortable fit. She kept ignoring objective facts about spatial relations -- even after I pulled ...Read more
I knew my girlfriend wasn't right for me, and I was super unhappy. Friends I confided in kept saying "Relationships take work" and "Take the good with the bad." I listened to them and stayed in the relationship, which led to an ugly breakup. When evaluating a relationship, how much should you take advice and how much should you rely on your ...Read more
My boyfriend of a year is caring and thoughtful and perfect in nearly every way -- except one. He's really good friends with his ex. They grab lunch every week, and she'll call him to vent or get advice. He assures me they're just friends, but I can't help but feel threatened. Is it crazy to tell him he needs to put some distance between them...Read more
I'm a guy who falls into relationships too easily, ending up with women I'm not particularly interested in. I thought I had discriminating taste, but obviously my relationship track record says otherwise. How can I grow up and stop being so impulsive?
You're far from alone. People will insist they're highly "discriminating" ...Read more
I'm a recently divorced woman. With COVID restrictions easing up, I'd like to go out to bars again. I'm rusty on flirting etiquette. Should I have a "pickup line" or wait for a man to make the first move and then hint I'm interested?
Men do not speak hint. Hinting to a man is like trying to discuss a complex issue with your cat...Read more
I read your column about why women apologize more than men, and the science makes sense. What you didn't address is why men don't admit they're wrong or apologize. So while women operate according to the survival instincts you described, men oafishly bumble through life without a clue they screwed up and owe someone an apology. They don't ...Read more