Life Advice

/

Health & Spirit

Tales From The Lopside

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship (for almost four years) that works very well, talking daily and seeing each other every two months. The problem is that it feels like he has much more love for me than I have for him. (He's totally head over heels and expresses this constantly.) I absolutely do love him, and I tell him ...Read more

Pimp My Rite

My boyfriend dumped me and moved out of our place. I'm on the lease and can't afford to break it, but it still feels like "our place," and that's making it hard to move on. My hippie friend said I should burn sage or light a candle and do a "letting go" meditation. Umm, okay. Can you please explain how rituals like this are bogus and ...Read more

Twisted Sisterhood

I'm a grown woman in the middle of a feud between two of my female friends. They're both complaining to me, and I'm just responding "uh-huh" to give them the hint that I don't want to be involved. Neither's catching on. How do I get out of the middle of this spat without either friend feeling like I'm being disloyal and without my blurting ...Read more

Rags Against the Machine

I'm a slim woman in my early 40s -- successful in my field -- and I am always in jeans, a vintage ripped t-shirt, and boots. I mean, ALWAYS. Granted, I have an extremely expensive handbag and perfectly highlighted blonde hair, and I always wear winged eyeliner. My friends say that going "underdressed" like this is disrespectful and ...Read more

There's Something About Marriott

I'm a married lesbian. Yesterday on the phone, my wife invited her sister to spend the night (in our small one-bedroom apartment) without asking me. When I confronted her, saying it's OUR home, she said, "It's my sister!" Family's very important to her, and her sister didn't come, so I let it go. But what's the protocol with guests, ...Read more

Android Rage

I'm so tired of these supposed magician multitaskers on their cellphones. The guy I'm dating and some of my friends don't seem to get how disrespectful it feels when they play around on their phone or text while I'm talking to them. Am I crazy to want eye contact and attention when I'm talking? -- Irritated

This smartphone multitasking...Read more

The Litter Mermaid

I'm not the best housekeeper or the tidiest person. I've got papers everywhere, dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, and an unmade bed. I have a very long-haired cat who leaves fur everywhere. I joke to men that "fighting entropy is a losing battle," but I'm starting to wonder whether my messy place is keeping me single. Obviously, if ...Read more

Crone's Disease

I'm a straight single woman nearing 50. My best friends are a lesbian couple. I'm going to get some nonsurgical skin tightening on my face, and they got very judgmental about it: "We think you're beautiful as you are." Next, it was "What if it goes wrong?" and "Will you keep getting procedures till you don't look like you?" I ended up crying...Read more

Eye Anxiety

I've been with my boyfriend for four years. I thought I was super happy, but I recently got a crush on a co-worker. Now I'm worried that maybe I'm not totally satisfied in my relationship. If I were truly in love with my boyfriend, why would I be crushing on somebody else? Does this make me more vulnerable to cheating? Should we go into ...Read more

Between A Squawk And A Hard Place

I'm a 32-year-old gay man, and my boyfriend of three years sometimes vents to his friends about our relationship. I feel a little betrayed by this -- like my privacy's being violated. Why can't he figure things out on his own -- without bringing in a jury? -- Disturbed

A few years back, a woman with a grudge against my assistant called...Read more

A Hard Yuk Story

I'm a 34-year-old struggling comic. My girlfriend is a 29-year-old children's therapist. We've been together for a year. She wants to move in with me, wants me to meet her parents -- adult relationship stuff that I don't feel ready for now. I love her, but I live in a studio without a kitchen. I don't even have a car. As a man, I want to be ...Read more

Youth Hostile

I'm a 35-year-old woman who's been married for a year to a 70-year-old man. My husband's closest female friend is also one of his exes. He's known her for 40 years. She's a real sore point for me. She stayed at our apartment while we were away. She wouldn't reply to any of my emails but constantly emailed my husband. Recently, I saw a text ...Read more

No Girls Aloud

I'm a female comic, so being smart and funny and having a strong personality is basically my job, as well as who I am. A friend had me stop by his business meeting at a cafe so he could introduce me to his client he was hoping to set me up with. I tend to show off when I'm nervous (going big, loud, and funny), and I apparently terrified the ...Read more

 

Social Connections

Comics

Tim Campbell Aunty Acid Wallace The Brave Brian Duffy Steve Benson Rubes