Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Boyfriend's best friend sends him 'breakup brigade' of attractive, single houseguests

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My boyfriend of six months has a best friend, "John," who now lives in another country, which has notorious gender inequality and poverty. We're all in our early 30s. My boyfriend was always at John's beck and call, and I sense John resents my appearance on the scene. John has asked my boyfriend to host two of John's female friends for a week while they visit our city. They are single and in their early 20s.

I get the very strong impression it is a setup and John is trying to break us up. I feel like I'm being controlling, but I have told my boyfriend I do not want these women to stay with him. I think he would have otherwise agreed, but told John the women couldn't stay with him. John has now cut him off completely and my boyfriend blames me for breaking up their friendship.

Even if I was out of line, I feel if it were truly just about hosting, that would be no reason to end a friendship. I would appreciate your perspective.

-- Girlfriend


I'm not sure you will.

Mainly, I'm thinking it's good you've put in only six months on this loser bet.

Your boyfriend blames you for breaking up their friendship? And you're all in your 30s?

He couldn't own his own decision, or make a different one if he disagreed with you?


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