Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Tired of being asked if my son and daughter-in-law are going to have kids

Carolyn Hax on

Hi, Carolyn:

My son recently married a wonderful young woman, and we could not be happier! He is 40 and she is 36.

I have been asked frequently if they plan to have children. I was actually asked at the reception by friends and relatives! AT THE RECEPTION. Even the manager asked if we would use their venue for a baby shower or christening.

Carolyn, this is no one's business, certainly not mine, and definitely not the business of extended family nor friends. I have just been answering, "I don't know." Is there a better answer that would communicate how intrusive this question is? Stating that it's no one's business but theirs seems rude to this old gal, but I may need to head in that direction, since the questions keep coming four months after the wedding. HELP!

-- Questioned

"I don't ask. Couples get enough of this pressure, no? They don't need it from me." The next couple in their sights will be solidly, if unwittingly, in your debt.


"I don't know" is a fine answer, too, though; the simple truth can be an underrated weapon.

I know people are just trying to make conversation, but, seriously?

Dear Carolyn:

I love my partner and we have a happy relationship of many years. The downside is that many people see us as a unit. I know I shouldn't complain about having many friends who love and enjoy us together, but we are always invited as a couple, and my partner is not a people person and doesn't want to go when I would willingly go.


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