Life Advice


Health & Spirit

How do I deal with my sister's husband now that I hate him?

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My sister's husband confessed to an online affair and apparently is going through a major midlife crisis. My poor sister is of course stressed and worried, although they are doing marriage counseling and he is also doing counseling himself (I think).

The problem is we (my mom and I, we're a very close-knit bunch) now hate this guy's guts. We were never crazy about him -- he's selfish, rude, etc. -- but tolerated him because he made my sister happy. Now he's not even doing that.

So if they stay together, what's the best way to deal with him? Because it's going to be really hard to deal with him after all of this.

-- Hate His Guts



I'm not being facetious. He was a selfish rude jerk who made your sister happy, and he has since become a selfish rude jerk who makes your sister stressed and worried. If they stay together, then presumably he will be returning to his role as a selfish rude jerk who makes her happy, or at least happy enough for her not to leave.

Which means you can go back to your original modus operandi: putting up with him because he's part of your sister's package deal.

It would be lousy, but it wouldn't be new.


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