Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Boyfriend wears ladies' lingerie under his clothes, and friend is freaked out

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My boyfriend is a very athletic, CrossFit, off-road-biking, jock kind of guy. He also sometimes likes to wear ladies' lingerie, which is completely fine with me.

The other day he was wearing a satiny bra under a T-shirt and a friend of ours happened to see the strap. The friend is kind of freaked out and has been pestering me about "what this means" and if it is some weird fetish I have. (It is not. It's the boyfriend's thing. And he does not otherwise wear women's garments.)

I think it's none of this friend's business and I'm under no obligation to answer, but my non-answering has convinced the friend I am hiding something unseemly.

How to deal with this? It's no big deal, but it's irritating. Friend is not otherwise nosy or judgmental.

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An unambiguous "Drop it, because this isn't even remotely your business" is all you need, as long as you have the proper enforcement of a zero-further-discussion policy.

Nice to know someone's sustaining the satiny-skivvies industry. Most women I know are so thoroughly done with it.

Dear Carolyn:


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