Life Advice


Health & Spirit

She wants a fairy-tale wedding. Should he put a (huge) ring on it?

Carolyn Hax on

So, yes. Please escalate from "starting to wonder" to full-on, hot-lights questioning of this three-year transaction relationship where she writes emotional invoices and you pony up.

What are you getting out of it emotionally? What is she getting out of her life with you that she couldn't get from any other guy who agreed to her terms?

What would happen if you proposed without an audience, performed zero stunts, used a Cracker Jack ring and said, "Hey, let's elope?" Would the simple, profound act of your giving yourself to her for the rest of your lives be enough?

Anyone willing to go into stupid debt can find a way to buy a big ring.

Only you can be you.


Don't give yourself away cheap.


Email Carolyn at, follow her on Facebook at or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at

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