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Health & Spirit

How many times do you have to say 'thank you' for mom's present?

Carolyn Hax on

When I give something to the grandkids, I like to hear about it, so I ask. We elderly need to hear that what we do is appreciated and liked. Sometimes we like to hear it over and over again to bring a smile to our faces. I don't think it is a negative that needs to be dealt with.

-- Anonymous

Well, if your intentions aren't clear to the people you're asking, and if they take your inquiries as pressure for repeated thank-yous, then it is a negative that needs to be dealt with.

Communication would do it, though. Tell your kids you ask these follow-up questions because it makes you so happy to bring the grandkids happiness. Say that's all you mean by it and hope you aren't misconstrued.

Re: Gifts:

To me it sounds like she is very anxious about whether her gifts are actually appreciated. That's different than wanting to be thanked.

-- Different

--Sponsored Video--

Again, better communication would be ... better.

"It's so important to me to give the kids gifts they'll enjoy. Please tell me what they like and dislike so they don't feel forced to be polite."

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Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.

(c) 2018, Washington Post Writers Group

 

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