How many times do you have to say 'thank you' for mom's present?
When I give something to the grandkids, I like to hear about it, so I ask. We elderly need to hear that what we do is appreciated and liked. Sometimes we like to hear it over and over again to bring a smile to our faces. I don't think it is a negative that needs to be dealt with.
Well, if your intentions aren't clear to the people you're asking, and if they take your inquiries as pressure for repeated thank-yous, then it is a negative that needs to be dealt with.
Communication would do it, though. Tell your kids you ask these follow-up questions because it makes you so happy to bring the grandkids happiness. Say that's all you mean by it and hope you aren't misconstrued.
To me it sounds like she is very anxious about whether her gifts are actually appreciated. That's different than wanting to be thanked.
Again, better communication would be ... better.
"It's so important to me to give the kids gifts they'll enjoy. Please tell me what they like and dislike so they don't feel forced to be polite."
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