Life Advice

/

Health & Spirit

Snooping on husband confirms her unhappy marriage

Carolyn Hax on

So don't dwell on what you did. Use it as a wakeup: You and your husband are going your separate ways within the formality of your marriage. What do you want to do about that? Are you ready to take steps to ... try to fix it? to separate? to be open with him about the alienation, and start treating it as a child-rearing and health-care-providing cooperative as opposed to a romantic pairing?

You don't have great choices, but they are choices. You'd hardly be the first couple to stop going through the motions of your original union and talk openly about what comes next.

Since children with health issues are a known risk factor for marital strain, consider a couple's counselor who specializes in those challenges.

Dear Carolyn:

Is it really that bad of an idea to have sex with my ex-husband? We disagree about having kids so we got divorced. Neither of us is enjoying dating (it has been a few years since the split) nor looking for a relationship. At some point one of us will find someone new or circumstances will change in some other way, but for now, since we still love each other and have stayed friendly, what is the harm?

-- Sleeping With My Ex

I'm never going to tell someone, "Don't join a bomb-disposal unit because you might get blown up," because, duh. And besides, some people want to go into that line of work, which is good because we need them to.

 

What I say instead is, "Join a bomb-disposal unit if that's what you want to do -- just go into it knowing you might get blown up."

So, yeah.

Oh, and people having sex who disagree on babies more than they agree on each other? Wear your body armor.

========

Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.

(c) 2017, Washington Post Writers Group

 

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus
 

Social Connections

Comics

Scary Gary Shoe Baby Blues Aunty Acid Candorville Nick Anderson