Life Advice

/

Health & Spirit

Holiday cheer held hostage

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My husband doesn't enjoy holidays. Everything about holidays is reluctant and grudging. He will dutifully eat any holiday meal that I plan, shop for, prepare, and clean up after, but his interest goes no farther.

I decorate, or it doesn't get done. He doesn't seem to care one way or the other.

I've asked him to do things with me, but he has such a long list of things that come first that nothing happens. Gifts are likely to be random and perfunctory, like a calendar he picked up in the grocery store. He hates wrapping, and does a minimal, sloppy job of it. We are not short of money, and he's not ungenerous about anything else.

Every year, I feel like I'm trudging uphill with him on my back. I finally suggested that we just give it a miss, but he was terribly upset. If I didn't make all this empty effort, apparently he'd feel guilty. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm worn out.

 

Holidays are no fun anymore, but I seem to be trapped in a producer role for an audience that doesn't care but won't leave the theater either. Suggestions?

-- Christmas Zero

Maybe, but first I want to say your theater analogy is genius.

OK.

...continued

swipe to next page
 

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus
 

Social Connections

Comics

The Lockhorns Speed Bump Get Fuzzy Mother Goose & Grimm Breaking Cat News Take It From The Tinkersons