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The recipe for successful divorced fatherhood

Carolyn Hax on

Does that cover it?

Dear Carolyn:

This is such a small thing, but it's so annoying. I am the primary cook in our house because I enjoy everything about it and my husband does not. I try not to repeat a single recipe within a three-month period, which means I sometimes have to get creative. I cook roughly four times a week, and almost every meal takes at least an hour to prepare.

Yet my husband's go-to compliment, when he likes something that isn't especially fancy, is, "I like this, it's nice and simple." To him, if something is served cold or is pureed, it is "simple," because he has never tried making most of the recipes I use.

If I were serving tomato soup out of a can, this wouldn't bother me, but it really, really does.

But is it OK to say so? I feel like such a prima donna asking to be recognized for the effort I put into cooking for us, but can I?

-- "Simple" Chef

Yes, since it's a lot better than swallowing your resentment.

So own it: "Is there another adjective you can use? This was actually complicated to make.

 

"And yes I'm a prima donna, but I'm the prima donna who made dinner.

"If you're looking for alternatives, I'll accept splendid, yummy, dazzling, spectacular, surprising, delicious, delectable, heavenly, exquisite, tasty, yabba dabba doo, or 'hot damn I'm spoiled.'"

You might as well go for it.

For what it's worth: This might in fact be his "go-to hint" that he prefers food that's less ... creative.

Someone who gets enthusiastically cooked for may seem ungrateful for harboring such a preference, and I won't argue otherwise, but if you're both trying to tell each other something without actually saying it, then maybe it's time you encouraged each other to say it.

========

Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.

(c) 2017, Washington Post Writers Group

 

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