Life Advice

/

Health & Spirit

The recipe for successful divorced fatherhood

Carolyn Hax on

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

What do you think the "recipe" is for men to continue to stay close to their children after a divorce? I have witnessed over and over again men moving on to their next relationship and the relationship with their children gets moved to the back burner.

-- Witness

The recipe is for men to stay close to their children instead of pushing them aside in favor of a new relationship.

That is, if you're the divorced man you're talking about.

 

If you're the one dating the divorced man, then it's not up to you what he does, but you can choose not to get possessive of his time, and choose to be encouraging and understanding of the importance of his staying involved in his kids' lives.

If you're the ex, then it's not up to you what he does, but you can choose to set aside your anger, share custody, and be as cooperative and flexible as possible when it comes to those arrangements.

If you're the kids, then it's not up to you what he does, but you can do your kid thing and love your parents and recognize the divorce wasn't your fault in any way.

If you're society, then it's not up to you what any given divorced father does, but you can value fatherhood as much as you value motherhood, and support men who take their family responsibilities seriously.

...continued

swipe to next page
 

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus
 

Social Connections

Comics

Little Dog Lost Ballard Street Mallard Fillmore Archie Rudy Park Red and Rover