Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Son's life choices cause mom to wonder where she went wrong

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My adult son has been married and divorced twice. He has two children from his second marriage. He is now living with, but not married to, another woman, and they have just shared the news that they are expecting.

I am worried and heartbroken and wondering what went wrong in his...Read more

Boyfriend's best friend sends him 'breakup brigade' of attractive, single houseguests

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My boyfriend of six months has a best friend, "John," who now lives in another country, which has notorious gender inequality and poverty. We're all in our early 30s. My boyfriend was always at John's beck and call, and I sense John resents my appearance on the scene. John has ...Read more

Husband prioritizes his training schedule over his wife's health

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My husband and I have three kids, 10, 8 and 1 (who was a surprise but is such a blessing). I gained a lot of weight in this last pregnancy. I am in my 40s and had a hard time with my pregnancy emotionally.

My husband dismissed all of my concerns. He basically said to get over it. I think I have some postpartum depression now, ...Read more

Is life not worth living after age 80?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Recently a middle-aged person told me that they wouldn't want to live past the age of 80. I'm in my mid-70s, and still working full time at a job I love in a field I'd be happy to pursue at least part time as long as I'm able -- think past 100, if I'm lucky!

My feelings are really hurt...Read more

How to eradicate your inner judge

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

Recently I was walking through the park on a warm summer night, and I came to the long overdue realization that I judge other people in my own head.

I'd really rather not. It's not good for the soul.

Now what?

-- Your Honor

Now, give your soul a checklist.

-- Forgive versus judge anything you yourself have done.

-- ...Read more

Is this a wedding or an homage to groom's alma mater?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I got engaged last month (yay!), and my fiance and I are starting to plan our wedding. He cares more about most of the details and so is taking the lead. I'm OK with that, but it's starting to look like he is planning a wedding that reflect the things that are important to him, ...Read more

It's high time to stand up to friend's temper

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My friend "Kathy" is like a sister to me and would do anything for me. Her only problem is that she is really impulsive and has a bad temper.

Last weekend, my boyfriend of seven months, "Dan," went to dinner with a friend from law school who just so happens to be a woman. I didn't go because I knew they'd have more fun just ...Read more

After the wedding, husband's interest wanes

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I got married a few years ago and ever since, my husband seems to have a waning interest in me. He has some other issues going on -- trying to change careers, worried about health, general anxiety -- but I and our relationship always get a back burner.

He doesn't want to spend ...Read more

Younger husband's retirement ticks her off

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Husband of 14 years is six and a half years younger than I am. He wants to retire even though his health is good. Although we are financially comfortable and do not need the extra money, I love my job and plan to continue working.

I completely understand his viewpoint: He's ...Read more

Son asks his mom to stay in a hotel when visiting his family. She's not having it.

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I'm a 70-year-old mom of a 35-year-old, newly married son, my only child. What are your thoughts about his telling me that if I visit them, I need to stay in a hotel? I would only visit if invited of course. I visited him before and stayed in his apartment. Prior to that, he lived in a different city, and said if I visited, I ...Read more

Do I have an obligation to tell my friend's wife he's constantly hitting on me?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Three years ago, when I was happily married, a friend from a college friend group proposed an affair. I declined and avoided seeing him one-on-one.

Now I am going through a rocky divorce. He proposed an affair again. I am still not interested. I told him that and he told me he ...Read more

How to relax when away from disabled husband and mother?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I have a very high-stress job and a disabled husband and mother.

I also have a friend who makes fun of my cellphone use whenever we are together. Yes, I do check my phones every 10 minutes, but I'm always worried somebody might need me.

Also, whenever I show her pictures, she says she's not interested and keeps telling me to ...Read more

Guest banned after offering helpful hints to hostess

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

"Becky" and I stayed with my brother, "Dan," and his wife, "Mae." Becky and I are recently married and this was her first stay at my brother's place.

Later she texted Mae a thank-you along with some helpful hints about some slight hosting deficiencies -- nothing too bad, just ...Read more

Tired of being asked if my son and daughter-in-law are going to have kids

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My son recently married a wonderful young woman, and we could not be happier! He is 40 and she is 36.

I have been asked frequently if they plan to have children. I was actually asked at the reception by friends and relatives! AT THE RECEPTION. Even the manager asked if we would use their venue for a baby shower or christening. ...Read more

Should I speak up about how my kids' school is teaching them different lessons on interactions with boys and girls?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My kids go to a school that has recently been trying to teach some age-appropriate lessons relevant to the #MeToo movement. In theory I think this is a good thing, but in practice I think they're not doing it very well, mostly because they seem to think boys and girls need very ...Read more

Should I reply to a Facebook apology from someone who bullied me?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Today is my birthday and I'm getting some nice messages on Facebook.

A woman I went to school with from grades 1-12, who for about seven of those years made my life a living hell with teasing, exclusion, and all-around poor treatment, sent me a long private message this morning....Read more

Grandma puzzled by how to help estranged daughter

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My daughter and I are semi-estranged (her choice). She lives overseas.

Very rarely she confides in me when she is troubled, and I always walk on eggshells trying to give her advice, opinions or insight into the problem.

Recently she called to tell me she had witnessed her husband being too rough physically and emotionally ...Read more

Empathetic daughter wants to help the homeless. But is it safe?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn,

My daughter "Fiona" is 21 and just moved to her own apartment. Not a great neighborhood, but my first apartment wasn't in a great neighborhood either.

Fiona has always been empathetic and kind. She donates her time at soup kitchens, fosters rescue animals, and will go the extra ...Read more

Husband's top priority: his parents

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My husband is insanely attached to his parents. They've been married 66 years and have four kids. He's the only one who actually takes care of them; if we're on vacation, he has to make arrangements for one or two of his siblings to come look after them. My husband is then constantly texting with his siblings, and the barrage of...Read more

Should she offer to be a couple's surrogate?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My brother-in-law and his wife have struggled with infertility for years. I would be willing to be a surrogate for them. Is there any sensitive way to make such an invasive offer?

I suspect they would not consider IVF in any form for religious reasons; even if they did, they may...Read more

 
 

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