Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Husband tells daughters of his desire to cheat before telling his wife

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My husband recently told me he had fallen for another woman. I was stunned, but even more when he said he had informed my daughters of his desires before he spoke to me. Both daughters stood up to him, he and I have come to a fragile understanding that he really does want to stay...Read more

Wife second-guesses marriage after trouble conceiving children

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I got married two years ago to a wonderful woman. We are in our mid-30s and decided to wait one year before trying to have kids. We waited the year and started trying, but despite neither of us having any obvious medical issues, we've been unable to conceive.

About three months ago my wife told me she was unsure about our ...Read more

Processing grief after death of beloved mother

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I wrote in before about my mom having stage 4 cancer (http://bit.ly/Stage4Mom). Unfortunately, she passed away on Monday. I spent as much time as I could with her, but it still was not enough. Now what do I do? I cannot even fathom how I will get through the funeral next week, ...Read more

Disappointed with adult life

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

Is being an adult just the process of becoming more accepting of disappointment in life?

I'm in my 30s and awakening to the fact that nothing in the life I have spent a decade building -- relationships, career, skills, hobbies, home -- is fulfilling to me at all. Is that normal? Do people walk away and start over or is there ...Read more

Explaining nurse's schedule to boyfriend's family is like talking to a brick wall

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I am a nurse, my boyfriend is a teacher. A lot of his family are teachers, too. My boyfriend and I get along great, he is really patient with my schedule and I am completely understanding that he gets extra time off in summers and holidays because he works such long hours during ...Read more

Dreading graduation accolades after a rocky year

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I am finishing a training program and the ritual is a gathering with one of the senior people standing up to say (presumably nice) things about each of the departing trainees. I've had a rocky year, and my close supervisors and I know it's well short of my potential and we're all ...Read more

Coming to terms with mother's decline

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

The holidays were great except ... my mother looks like she is dying. She had a significant fall the week before. Went to the hospital. Somehow managed not to break anything. Was given antibiotics for a "raging" (doctor's word) infection. She and my dad managed to get to our family gathering over six hours' drive away.

She ...Read more

Wife fears husband's bragging sets family up for failure

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Two years ago, we were invited to skip our son "Johnny" ahead from first grade to second mid-year. My husband was a bit insufferable about it, bragging to a number of our friends about how well Johnny was doing academically. This really bugged me at first but I ultimately decided I ...Read more

Give yourself permission to move away from toxic mom

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

No one in my family, including myself, wants to spend time with my mom.

She can be really toxic. She has hurt me all my life, and, really, everyone I love. I stopped asking my husband and kids to go with me a while ago. In fact, I limited my children's exposure to her when they were growing up, but they still have scars from ...Read more

Relentlessly positive friend can be exhausting

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A good friend has a habit that makes me crazy and I'd love to deal with it better. Whatever anyone says, she tries to put a positive spin on it. I realize I sound like a monster for being annoyed by this, but: She'll ask how the weekend was, and I'll say it was good but I was bummed ...Read more

She wasn't welcomed by in-laws until she had kids

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My in-laws, sister-in-law included, made it crystal clear they only invited me to things because they "had to" -- their words -- once my husband and I were married. I was even told point-blank that I ruined Christmas by being present.

Well, now everyone wants to be around all the time, to see our kids. If we were still ...Read more

Widower's daughter still misses mom, but shouldn't punish stepmom

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My husband is a widower with three kids. His youngest daughter, "Danielle," is getting married. My two stepsons have been much more welcoming to me since I entered the family than Danielle has. I approached this by being loving to Danielle but non-intrusive, and hoping she will come ...Read more

My ex, who never believed in marriage, is marrying

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I'm finding myself in one of those surreal stories where I invested years (six of them) in a relationship with someone who insisted he did not believe in marriage and finally ended things with me so he didn't deprive me of what I wanted, only to wind up engaged to someone else about 10 ...Read more

Should a mother leave her son with his father to take a far-flung job?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I immigrated to marry a man I'd dated for four years. It was an incredibly toxic and abusive relationship and I finally managed to leave after 11 years. I was unemployed and without family or friends.

After two years I've found an amazing job and have done brilliant work in my community and my new country. I'm literally ...Read more

Friend's effort to always look at the bright side is annoying

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A good friend has a habit that makes me crazy and I'd love to deal with it better. Whatever anyone says, she tries to put a positive spin on it. I realize I sound like a monster for being annoyed by this, but: She'll ask how the weekend was, and I'll say it was good but I was ...Read more

She wasn't welcomed by in-laws until she had kids

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My in-laws, sister-in-law included, made it crystal clear they only invited me to things because they "had to" -- their words -- once my husband and I were married. I was even told point-blank that I ruined Christmas by being present.

Well, now everyone wants to be around all the time, to see our kids. If we were still ...Read more

Husband routinely makes plans without consulting his wife

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Without consulting me, my husband committed himself, me and our infant to spending a week at the beach with his sister and her family next summer. The sister made plans and spent several hundred dollars preparing for this trip.

My husband only just got around to telling me, and ...Read more

Should she date an old flame even if he's still married?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I rejected "Sam" years ago in favor of "Aaron." Aaron and I are newly divorced -- initiated by me -- after 25 years of marriage and three kids.

Sam has been alienated from his wife for many years and moved out five years ago at her insistence. Sam initiated divorce proceedings but they ultimately stalled, and Sam and "Gina" ...Read more

Is her ticking biological clock sabotaging her relationships?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

How do women in their mid-30s, who hope for biological children, date without obsessing over looming questions about the future? I have seen two relationships crash and burn because my partners rightly suspected I was trying to suss out where things were headed -- and ...Read more

Preparing autistic brother for the wedding

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My daughter is getting married in a huge wedding, 300 guests. My son is autistic and attending this wedding is going to be a big deal, likely with at least one meltdown.

My daughter wants to hire a service to mind her brother during the wedding and wants a few test...Read more

 

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