Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Brother-In-Law's Abused Dog

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My brother-in-law recently lost his apartment, so my husband and I offered to watch his dog while he finds a new place (he is staying with his girlfriend, whose complex prohibits dogs).

The dog is so skinny you can clearly see his ribs and his hip bones. I've heard about this dog being neglected, so this is not the first time....Read more

Postpartum Depression Meds

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Now that my daughter is 1, I went to see a therapist for help. She diagnosed me with postpartum depression. Honestly, it's a HUGE relief. Three years ago I got the same diagnosis (my son is 4 now). Back then (and now) I was treated with cognitive therapy and antidepressants. Back then (...Read more

Just Found Out

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My husband and I have been together for over a decade and have two sweet, young children. After months of a nagging feeling and begging my husband to tell me the truth, he finally admitted this weekend that he has visited prostitutes and massage parlors for years.

The past year has been...Read more

Career or Baby

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

I could use some perspective here. My husband and I recently had a baby. After three months of maternity leave, I went back to work full time for about a month, but had to drop down to part time because I was exhausted with the kiddo not sleeping well.

Fast-forward through a layoff, finding a new job and starting back full time...Read more

May-December Romantic

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

How young is too young? I'm nearing 40 and recently single (no kids yet). I've been asked out separately on dates by two guys who are in the mid-late 20's. Too young? I feel somewhat more compatible with the younger men (at least 4 or 5 years younger), in part because I don't have kids ...Read more

Not Done With Grieving

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My mom died suddenly a year ago. I've had several friends make comments to the effect that it must be good to be done with the grieving, that the hard part is behind me, it's good to see me back in the swing of things, etc. I know they mean well, but my mom's death is still a daily gut-punch that feels like a huge bruise on my ...Read more

Not Preferred

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

This is really starting to wear my heart down. My son is 10 months old and for the last five months, he desperately prefers his dad/my husband to me. Before that he showed no preference. When Dad enters the room he lunges for him. When Dad hands him to me or steps out of the room, Baby ...Read more

General Anxiety

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My daughter suffers from general anxiety and just finished middle school. To thank her teachers for helping her through her moments of panic, I made each of them a nice zippered tote bag and loaded it with supplies and a small gift card. It took a lot of work on my part, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and also cost a lot for the ...Read more

Wedding Bucks Blues

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My fiancee, "Shelly," and I are planning our wedding, which she is mostly paying for since she makes over twice what I do.

I'm starting to have a real problem with how much we're spending. It sounded great at first -- only 75 people and the reception will be at her folks' beach house, ...Read more

Grit My Teeth and Take the Money

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I was recently offered a job that pays substantially more than I make now. I'm overqualified but generally happy where I am. I wasn't looking; the offer fell in my lap.

Though tempting in some ways -- well, just financially, since we could really use the money right now -- the thought ...Read more

Frustrated and Concerned

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

Is there anything I can do to get my wife to suspend a habit for a few months? A family wedding is coming up, and she has the full outfit, will be getting her hair done, all the details. The crowning touch for me would be if she could stop picking at her fingers long enough for them to heal -- they are often bloody as the ...Read more

I See Dead People

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My husband's sister "Beth" fancies herself a psychic of sorts who can communicate with the beyond. A few months ago, we were eating dinner when she began talking about a spirit with me. I honestly had no idea who she was talking about, and told her that, as I had no deceased relatives ...Read more

Silent Treatment as Emotional Abuse

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I wanted to chime in on your oft-repeated statement that the silent treatment is emotional abuse.

Sometimes people are silent because they are too upset to talk about it, and know trying will only make things worse. Sometimes, an emotional reaction can take a while to settle down. Some people have huge emotions accompanied by ...Read more

Suspicious Boyfriend

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My younger sister won't let me meet her boyfriend of three months. I've invited them over for dinner, she's declined. I've asked if I can meet them out, she's declined. She says it's because they aren't serious, and she doesn't think you introduce boyfriends to family unless it's ...Read more

Gaining Weight

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I have gained an awful amount of weight in the past year. I am tall so I can carry some of it, but clearly not this much.

My family is so critical about weight that I have canceled my annual visit. I love them and know they love me, but they will judge me and I just cannot handle that on top of everything else -- I found out ...Read more

Husband Comes Out as TransGender

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My husband of 10 years recently came out to me as a trans woman. She says she is a lesbian, and wants to stay and make it work. I am trying to be supportive, but I am feeling betrayed and weirded out and pretty sure I'm not a lesbian. When I hide my confusion, she's ecstatically happy to...Read more

Family's Not So Secret

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn!

I am a 19-year-old college student away from home, and I've recently had reason to believe my father is smoking weed. I don't disapprove, as it's about to become legal anyway and I do it as well, but I am disappointed he hasn't told me. I know most family secrets at this point, and I ...Read more

Best Friend's Childish Wife

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I'm a 40-something guy, married with three kids. My best friend/college buddy married a few years back, had his first kid a year ago. We're practically brothers. Talk all the time. But, due to family obligations we don't get together much.

His wife shows zero interest in having a relationship with my family despite my being a ...Read more

Tattoo Tantrum

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

So imagine my surprise when I got home to discover my fiancee had lovingly had my name tattooed on a private area of her body.

For me, tattoos represent low-life, trailer-trash graffiti of the body. To be fair, I don't recall ever having discussed my views of such with her, so I tried ...Read more

Making Big Decisions

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

Do you have any general advice on how to make big decisions? My husband and I are trying to decide if we're going to stay in D.C. in a house and area we love, versus moving to the 'burbs for kid reasons. We're very happy where we are right now, which means the impetus to take action is really low.

The desire to move comes from ...Read more

 
 

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