Annie's Mailbox: Still Writing Thank-You Notes in Manheim, Pennsylvania
Dear Annie: I had an affair with "Craig," a fellow teacher, for eight years. Not many people knew. Craig recently started dating another woman but didn't break it off with me. I found out after he'd had two dates with her.
During our affair, Craig told me he loved me, and I certainly loved him. I even wanted to leave my husband and take my kids and move in with him. Craig begged me not to, saying he didn't want anyone to know about our affair. He said I should divorce my husband, and then after a while, he would marry me. I was afraid if I left without a commitment, I'd end up with neither man, so I went back to my husband.
While we were seeing each other, Craig would leave school and say he was visiting sick students, when he would really meet me and have sex. I also know that he was accepting sports tickets, etc., from vendors who did business with the school. He got caught once for it and was told to stop, but he still continues to do it.
I'm so upset about him using me that I want to tell our employer about all
the ethically sketchy things he did. I also want to warn the "new girl" about his past. I still love Craig and can't get him out of my mind. Would getting revenge be the right thing to do? How do I get over this? -- Heartbroken in Logansport, Indiana.
Dear Logansport: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. You may report Craig for his unethical behavior, since that is clearly against school policy, but understand that Craig could get his own revenge if you do. Beyond that, however, leave him alone. The "new girl" will think your allegations are simply sour grapes, and Craig's reputation will catch up to him soon enough.
You've learned a tough lesson, so use it by not repeating your mistake. You have a husband and a family. Make them worth treasuring.
Dear Annie: As new parents, we recently have been drowned in presents from friends and family. We truly appreciate the generosity, but some of the gifts are utterly useless. May I offer some suggestions to those buying for new parents?
No. 1. Check to see if the parents are registered. This can save you a lot of trouble.
No. 2. Babies grow quickly. If giving clothes, bigger is better. I have a friend whose son was 9 pounds at birth. She never needed anything in size "newborn."