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Whistle while you carpet clean

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

As I sit here, on my bed, we are having our carpet cleaned in the other room.

The carpet cleaner, a man we will refer to as CeeCee, knocked on our door a little past 9 a.m. He has the mustache of either an evil villain or a silent-movie star or both. It is precisely the type of bushy, curly mustache my 4-year-old daughter has been begging me to...Read more

Bulk Balk

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

I, like most people, I imagine, have a love-hate relationship with the big bulk stores -- you know, Costco, Sam's Club, the stores so large that they usually sit on a street named after them, the stores with shipment garage doors so massive they must have ordered them used from a UFO hangar at Area 51. There is much to love and hate about ...Read more

Garlic Hair

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

The olive oil is hot in the pan. I peel cloves of garlic. I chop the cloves. The scent fills the kitchen, the living room, the dining room. My husband comes into the kitchen.

"Smells good. What's for lunch?" he asks.

"No idea," I reply. "This is for my hair."

I pour the hot oil and slightly browned cloves into a mug and walk out of the ...Read more

Allow a mental break when what you have becomes a bit too much

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

Michelle Obama, in her book "Becoming," says her mother admitted that every winter, she contemplated leaving Obama's father. Obama goes on to explain to readers that we must understand that in Chicago, the winters are long and gray and heavy. They seem never-ending and interminable. And perhaps a little fantasy is needed to get you through. ...Read more

Saber-Toothed Contact

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

This morning, I dropped my contact lens in the sink, and it took me no less than 10 minutes to find it. Yes, the lens is transparent, making it difficult to find, but the thing about losing your contact is that you don't have the working eyes to find it.

I have been in glasses since first grade. Back when I was a child, my dad, whom I've only...Read more

Tornado Bunker

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

On Christmas, my husband got a signed picture of Carson Wentz, the quarterback of his favorite football team, the Philadelphia Eagles. He didn't get it from me.

"Great," he said. "For the man cave."

He caught my eye across the room and added the word "someday."

The picture went to our unfinished basement, joining a Nick Foles-signed Super ...Read more

Progression of a Winter Break

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

Winter Break, Minus One Day:

I cannot wait for school to be over. The kids need a break. We all need a break. Time to sleep in all morning! Wear pajamas all day! Make cookies! Make hot cocoa! Make memories! Snuggle up in front of movies. In front of the fire. In front of the menorah. In front of the Christmas tree. Play on the tree swing ...Read more

Broken Coffee Maker

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

The coffee maker broke. What was I saying? Oh, yes, the coffee maker broke. It occurs to me that there are other ways to make coffee. Surely, coffee has been made without a coffee maker. I will be able to think of what those ways are once I have coffee. But the coffee maker broke.

It's fine. It's Christmastime. And Hanukkah time. And New Year's...Read more

Hiding the Tree Swing

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

For Chrismukkah this year, I bought my kids a giant tree swing.

This has been an effort three years in the making. The kids have always wanted a tree swing (heck, I've always wanted a tree swing), but we are blessed with magically tall and ancient trees on our property -- which means the lowest branches loom high above our house. Buying a ...Read more

Santa Slaps

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

When I was about 7, my son's age, I was determined to see Santa Claus. From previous years, I knew that if I stared out my window long enough, my eyes would go heavy and I'd eventually sleep, my head resting on the windowsill. This year, I couldn't miss it. I wouldn't miss it. Rather than sleep in my bedroom, I insisted on sleeping on the ...Read more

Let's try a woman's never list

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

There is something making its way around social media called the "Woman's Never List."

The premise is that every woman has a mental list, personal and unique to her, of things she will never do. The idea isn't that these are things the woman would like to do; rather, they are things she has recognized she will not do, despite any inherent ...Read more

 

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