ArcaMax

I blame the cinnamon buns -- or, more accurately, the lack of cinnamon buns.

My husband and I decided to make a last-minute detour to get away from the West Coast smoke. And because I'm a planner -- and this wasn't planned -- I found the process of finding and booking us an RV campsite entirely overwhelming. How to pick a campground? Do we want...Read more

"Watch out. She spits," the teenager said.

"She spits?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's pregnant and peeved off."

Only he didn't say "peeved." I knew what he meant. I've never felt more seen as a woman.

"And, like, she's a llama," the teenager said.

Don't ruin this for me, kid. The angry pregnant spitter and I are having a moment.

Not that ...Read more

RV life has led us to Northern California, which means it has led us to both forest fires and very low nighttime temperatures. I cannot be sure whether it is the coldness or the smoke that has impacted my dear husband so, but as we settled in to the campsite in the Golden State, my husband settled in to a new hobby: keeping the campsite awake ...Read more

"At the port-a-potty, go south through the sage brush."

That should've been a sign that this hike was going to be the dumps.

I read the instructions on the Utah trails pamphlet again. We are on the hunt for dinosaur tracks. Surely, something that has been preserved for 125 million years can't be that hard to find. At the port-a-potty, we ...Read more

"Don't be scared," my driver said. "I'm going to take you a back way. We won't see another car for miles and miles."

"OK," I said.

"Also, I have a loaded gun next to me," my driver said. "I thought you should know. But don't be scared. You're going to be just fine."

Maybe it's the city girl in me, but this would typically be about the time I'...Read more

"Hold tight to the magic of summer," I told my son this time last year. He'd just found out a few kids who'd broken his tiny heart in kindergarten were going to be in his first-grade class.

"But how is it magic?" he asked, just as he had asked many previous times, needing to hear it again.

"Summer changes you," I said. "You see new things. You...Read more

"How's it going?" my mom texts.

"Great! I think we've finally got this thing figured out!"

The next day: Huh. Why aren't the stabilizer jacks going down?

"How's it going?" my mom texts.

"Great! I think we've finally got this thing figured out!"

The next day: impromptu jumping jacks as we skip and hop out of the way of the sewage ...Read more

"Why was Poseidon trying to kill us?" asked my 4-year-old.

"It was Zeus," said my 7-year-old.

"But we're on the water," said my 4-year-old.

"But Zeus has the lightning bolt."

Our hike began like any other of our family hikes -- with me trying to rally like a hyperactive golden retriever. I jumped and smiled and spun, chasing my tail as I ...Read more

Time is a weird concept. Somehow my children have catapulted into the future and I have been sucked back in time. We're two weeks into our cross-country RV adventure, and my children are making Marty McFly (second movie) envious with all of their futuristic play. Teachers are zapped into our home on wheels. Online school comes equipped with ...Read more

"Ark Encounter," my husband read aloud as we passed by a sign on Interstate 75 for the creationist theme park in Williamstown, Kentucky. "We sure have been getting a lot of flood references lately. Now it's getting biblical."

The flood references have been coming pretty rapidly the past couple of weeks. Our dishwasher flooded our kitchen and ...Read more

"I dunno," said my friend. "I can't really support your just letting yourself go."

He was speaking in reference to my ditching the dye and letting my gray hair grow out, a growing movement, literally and figuratively, during this pandemic.

Personally, I'm pretty excited to look like a witch. Or a fairy. Or simply how Mother Nature intended.

"...Read more

I was down in my basement, when something looked different. Hmm. What is it? Ah, yes, the ceiling is on the floor.

Though I'm no basement expert, it immediately occurred to me that the ceiling was not supposed to be on the floor. I felt the panels, which were now crumbling by my feet.

Wet. Very wet.

Perhaps a flood, I deduced, ...Read more