Lotdocking Points

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I used to keep a list of my favorite airports," I said to my friend on our most recent girls trip, referring to a time in my life long ago when I was jet-setting around the South Pacific as a backpacker.

"I still keep a list," my friend said. "Gotta know how you're gonna sleep."

"Exactly!" I said.

"My airport point system is based on how far...Read more

Instant Imposter Syndrome

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"We're nature people," the people in the campsite across from us said.

"So are we," I replied. "I mean, I'm guessing most people here are."

We are currently in a campground in central Florida. A river snakes through the 450-site campground, marked with signs every hundred yards begging people to beware of the serpents and not feed the ...Read more

Dish Fire

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

When I was a kid, my dad set our toilet seat on fire.

This isn't an attempt at a scatological joke. Beans had nothing to do with it.

The seat had once been a hip-to-the-late-'80s light blue color. After the infamous toilet seat fire, it became a bubbled orangish brown that drooped in hardened teardrops of its previous baby blue like a Salvador...Read more

Hamper Damper

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

Four years ago, when I got my treadmill, the worker installing it said, "I see you got yourself an expensive hamper."

I rolled my eyes. This man doesn't know me! How dare he imply that my beautiful new treadmill will become nothing more than a convenient place to dump clothes? Just because my mom's treadmill is used as a hamper and my best ...Read more

Dino Paranoia

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I'm on social media too much," I told my husband. "The news is making me paranoid."

I needed a break for my mental health. I needed a break for a better relationship with my kids. I didn't want them to think of me as someone always with a phone in her hand. They deserve better than that. I deserve better than that.

"So what will you do to ...Read more

NYE Diet

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

I, like many, have a love-hate relationship with New Year's resolutions. Nearly every year, I declare with haughty elitism that I'm above such nonsense. And nearly every year, in the back corners of my mind, I think, "Hmm, this year, I will take up fencing and commit to practicing no less than six hours a day."

This year, I'm going for simple; ...Read more

2020 Superstitions

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"Check out my new ornament," my friend texted in our group chat.

A moment later, a video appeared of her new Christmas ornament to commemorate the year. It was of a dumpster on fire, with lights flickering in bright yellows and oranges and "2020" written across the bottom of the ornament. The 2020 dumpster fire -- how appropriate.

In the final...Read more

Sweater Pants

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I'm ready!"

My 5-year-old walked in with her legs through the sleeves of a sweater.

"Um," I said, looking down at her rather unusual outfit.

"What? You said, 'Put something on to cover my legs, because it's cold outside.'"

"I meant pants," I said.

"OK. Where are my pants?"

I have no idea.

Coming home five months after throwing all your ...Read more

Living in the Walls

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

The first time we went to our house after purchasing it, we found a snake in the basement. "This will happen," an animal control officer said as she removed the 6-foot rat snake. "You live on water next to the woods."

"So they come in for shelter?" I asked.

"They come in for food," she said.

"What food?" I asked.

"Mice, moles, voles, bugs." ...Read more

Koala Christmas

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

Lately, my kids have been making a big push to move to Australia. They believe there is no COVID-19 Down Under. (Untrue.) They believe it is the birthplace of magic. (Quite possibly true.) I try to dissuade them with stories of venomous snakes and spiders the size of their heads.

"Really, Mama," they want to know, "where is your sense of ...Read more



Chip Bok The Barn Monte Wolverton David M. Hitch Peter Kuper John Deering