Humor

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I Scream for School

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

My cousin makes himself an ice cream sundae every evening. It began as self-medicating. For the principal and father of three, the chopped nuts, whipped cream, hot fudge and maraschino cherry served as a moment of delectable peace at the end of yet another stressful day. Then the kids found out.

Soon, spoonsful of melting peanut butter ribbon...Read more

Wild Acclimation

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

I've been away from home for much of the past month for weddings and work meetings. On the way to the airport, my brother mused that he hopes I don't return to a home infested with snakes. Since moving to the wild, we have discovered the occasional scaled squatter after returning home from vacations.

After a thorough inspection, I texted my ...Read more

Airport drama and sedation

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"Are you going to leave at 5?" my husband asked.

"Probably 4:30," I replied. "I want to make sure I have time to let the Valium take effect."

"Oof. That's early."

Yes, it was. But the miracle drug was worth my waking long before the sun rose.

Valium recently re-entered my life after a long hiatus. An extremely nervous flyer, I had been ...Read more

Nacho Problem

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I love food," I said. "I can't help it."

My friend leveled me with her eyes. "You could help it if you knew the foods you were eating."

Less than seven seconds later, she had downloaded four of her favorite food tracking apps onto my phone. And so my journey of conscious eating began.

It turns out, I'm pretty boring. The days calorie ...Read more

Old Dirt

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

Mortifyingly satisfying.

Those were the words that came to mind as I drove through my old stamping grounds, places I hadn't frequented in nearly 20 years, while listening to Lithium, the '90s alternative and grunge station on Sirius XM.

Mortifyingly satisfying to hear Alanis Morissette belting out "Ironic" as I drove past the playground ...Read more

Horsing Around

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I'm not sure she was too experienced," my mom said of the woman who had led her on horseback for her birthday hike.

I asked her why.

"Well, her saddle kept sliding to the side of the horse, making her almost fall off. I had to suggest to her that she tighten the straps."

"This woman works at the horse stables?" I asked.

"Uh-huh. She didn'...Read more

Teacher Trauma

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

Tomorrow I teach my seventh class. It's easy to remember the exact number because that's how it is with trauma. The actual experience may fade into a haze of chalk dust, but the number of times you've experienced such agony remains.

Chalk dust? Whom am I kidding? There is no chalk. And that's part of the problem. These college students don't ...Read more

Summer Hours

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

I'm failing at summer. One week in and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make it to autumn with a passing grade.

This is my first summer in the terms that I knew it as a child. With my son completing his first year in elementary school, the seasons are once again dictated by the school calendar. Summer, those rogue months in which we break free ...Read more

The Apologetic Flasher

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I came out of my apartment, and there he was -- trench coat wide-open, totally naked, so proud of himself."

This past week, one of my best friends came to visit, and along with her came a collection of stories from our time apart. We met while living in Los Angeles but grew up just 20 minutes apart on the other side of the country. It ...Read more

The Orange Diet

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

There is a story in my family that has been told and retold so many times that I'm no longer certain of the truth behind the tale. It sits in that amorphous place of being either 100 percent accurate or 92 percent false. And knowing all the players in the story, I couldn't even begin to guess the answer.

The story is about me, though I have ...Read more

The Katydid Hunter

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I'm so excited to finally get you on the phone. I've been dying to meet you," said a potential consulting client. "My son and I are obsessed with katydids."

I was named after the katydid, a long insect that looks like the love child of a grasshopper and a mantis. Most people aren't familiar with katydids, so anytime I meet someone who shares ...Read more

Zoo Chaperone

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

When my son was 2 1/2, we visited the zoo. I got distracted for just a moment, and when I looked up, my son was climbing over a wall and into the lion's den. One foot was hanging over the king of the jungle's water hole.

I ran to pull him back from his suicide mission as he wailed his discontent. The two teenagers who had been standing right ...Read more

The Pants Malfunction

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

They say to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Apparently, I want to have the job of a stripper.

This past week, I have had the immense pleasure of being a panelist, moderator and mentor at the Atlanta Film Festival and ScreenCraft Writers Summit. My week began with a panel that I had pitched about entertainment development. We...Read more

 
 

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