ArcaMax

I didn't grow up with Prince. My first introduction to him came in the form of Julia Roberts' taking a bubble bath with headphones in "Pretty Woman." He didn't play a role in my youth again until the first semester of my senior year of high school, when all any radio station could play was "1999."

We were about to jump into the next millennium ...Read more

On Wednesday night, we had a lightning storm -- one so wild and violent that it shook the entire house. It was so bright and constant that it was impossible to sleep.

On Thursday night, I was putting my son to bed, when some creature that had emerged from the depths of hell ran past where we sat on the floor reading stories. He was the shape of...Read more

Growing up is scary. There are so many urban legends to learn, so many new creatures to fear. The boogeyman. Medusa. Ghosts. Vampires. Brooding vampires. Robert Pattinsons.

There seem to be monsters everywhere. Monsters in the closet. Monsters under the bed. "Monsters, Inc." As if learning about all of these fearsome foes weren't enough, your ...Read more

I'm a scatterbrain. And that was before I got mommybrain. Now I'm scattommybrained.

It's dangerous.

There are the typical dangers: accidentally putting the dog in your BabyBjorn instead of your kid, making the kids Sunday morning pancakes with maple bourbon instead of syrup, putting the toothpaste in the freezer and then brushing your teeth ...Read more

Bicycles and I are not friends. We have a mutual understanding: If I don't get on one, one won't kill me. So when I moved across the country, I was shocked to find a bicycle in the moving truck along with my old dresser and beanbag chair. I demanded an explanation from my mom, who simply said, "One sunny day, you may wish you had one." How could...Read more

The first time my son threw a temper tantrum, it was because I wouldn't let him touch the black widow spider protecting her eggs on a plant next to our front steps. He threw his body down onto the grass and thrashed about, lamenting the injustice of it all. His evil mother would not let him play with the cute, albeit highly poisonous, mama ...Read more

"You wouldn't believe it," my friend typed over group chat. "There was a little Girl Scout walking up and down the long line of cars waiting to get COVID tests, selling cookies! Going up to the windows of potentially sick people and hawking her goods. It was outrageous! I mean, I bought four boxes, but still! Outrageous!"

Selling Girl Scout ...Read more

"You got any dogs?" the woman running the alligator ranch and swamp tour asked. She was giving me the rules for setting up our motorhome to spend the night in her parking lot.

"No," I said.

"If you got dogs, you gotta tell me."

"We don't have any dogs," I reassured her.

"Little dogs? Quiet dogs?"

"No dogs."

"'Cause you can't have dogs goin...Read more

"I used to keep a list of my favorite airports," I said to my friend on our most recent girls trip, referring to a time in my life long ago when I was jet-setting around the South Pacific as a backpacker.

"I still keep a list," my friend said. "Gotta know how you're gonna sleep."

"Exactly!" I said.

"My airport point system is based on how far...Read more