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It's Lice

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"It could be eczema," I said.

"It's lice," my friend repeated.

"Psoriasis?"

"Lice."

"Dry skin from the weather changing?"

"Lice."

"Do you see any lice in my hair?" I asked.

"No."

"So, then it could be anything."

"It's lice," she repeated again.

"Allergies? Brain tumor? Some rare autoimmune disease?"

"Oh, my gracious!" my friend ...Read more

When in Rome -- or Australia, as it were

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

My family and I spent the past few weeks traipsing around Down Under, where a children's show pilot I wrote is being turned into a TV series. After a few work meetings, we were off to visit three old Aussie friends I'd kept from when I lived across the world many moons ago.

Not to brag, but I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to ...Read more

There's no such thing as October's ghosts

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

October has favorite-month potential. I love the chill in the air, the smell of fireplaces and getting to wear hoodies and a few extra pounds. But one thing tarnishes the lovely month of October: Halloween decorations.

I'm afraid of ghosts. There, I said it. Ghosts freak me out. I don't care how groovy Shaggy's van is; I could never join Scooby...Read more

A Mall Mecca

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"This place is sweet!"

My husband ran his fingers along the sleek furniture, admiring the stylish pad. It was as if we had stumbled onto something magical, like Alice tripping through the looking glass and winding up in a world of wonder that, though unimaginable, was somehow built as if with her in mind. My husband was right. This place was ...Read more

Coffee Grind

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

We ran out of coffee.

How could we have let this happen? We knew we were coming to the end. Written in bold black lettering on the dry-erase board mounted on the refrigerator read, quite plainly, "Coffee." Perhaps it should have read, "COFFEE, you fools!" We might not have been in this mess if it had.

The initial shock was manageable. I keep...Read more

No more castle on the hill

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

I've written of the Castle before. I lived in it for a year while I was in Australia. We sometimes humorously called it the White Castle, sometimes affectionately called it Standing Ruins, sometimes truthfully called it Death Bug Fortress. We always called it home.

The Castle was the perfect twisted fairy tale home, like something that comes to...Read more

Kid Zones

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"Will you be taking the kids?" my childless friend asked.

"I will," I gulped. A 22-hour flight with little ones didn't sound ideal to me, either.

"Ew. No offense, but this is exactly why they should make planes that are children-free zones."

First of all, no offense taken on the idea of a few planes being set aside for folks who don't care ...Read more

Ice Cream Rebellion

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I'm not touching you," my 6-year-old said, holding a pillow a mere millimeter from my face after I demanded he stop hitting me with it.

"I know what you're doing," I said, beyond agitated.

"I know what I'm doing, too," he said gleefully. "I'm not hitting you with the pillow, just like you asked."

He was so darn proud of his defiance that I...Read more

The Power of Will

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

My "Will" is like a less interesting Mary Poppins. The wind blows her in when I need her, but not when it would just be kinda cool to have her around. I know she'd never miss a visitation when a mysterious illness requires an exhaustive research initiative or when there is a problem in my kid's school that needs immediate interference and ...Read more

Octopuses for Breakfast

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

Vice President Mike Pence announced plans for Space Force, a new military branch that presumably would be dedicated to saving us from the evils of those weird octopus dudes Will Smith killed in Independence Day. To be fair, octopuses are insanely smart little freaks of nature. I'm fairly confident that in addition to being able to shape-shift ...Read more

Twister Coming

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"Twister" came out when I was in junior high. I loved that movie. It had action, suspense and heart, and it defined my wardrobe for the next 18 months or so. I became obsessed with Helen Hunt's white tank top and baggy khaki cargo pants. It was the epitome of independent adventurer, and I wore that outfit as many times as I could get away with...Read more

Memory Climb

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"I used to be interesting."

I got too used to saying that. It's part of the reason we moved to the wild. The memory of who I was -- camping under the stars, rappelling down cliff sides, hiking into the vast nothingness -- was still too clear to ignore. It hadn't drifted into the misty haze of happenings long past -- you know, the place where ...Read more

The Allure of Neglect

Humor / Katiedid Langrock /

"Thrives on neglect."

This was the sign posted under a tray of cactuses and other succulents sold at a local farmers market. My friend had posted the picture to her social media as a statement of our times. How disgusting that "neglect" is now a selling point. But all I thought was, "Hot dog, that's a plant I need!"

What a marvelous thing! ...Read more

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