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Gene's true calling

Gene Weingarten on

Shannon: Hi. What can I help you with?

Me: I swear this is true. My beloved dog, Murphy, sleeps with me on my bed, sometimes at the foot and sometimes right beside me on a pillow. One day a couple of years ago I woke up very unpleasantly, like that snotty movie producer in "The Godfather" who owned a racehorse. My bed was also very warm and very wet. It turned out that Murphy, who is a big dog, had completely lost control of all bladder functions, a condition that could continue nightly for the rest of her life. But the vet prescribed Proin, a product made by your company. Murphy has been taking daily doses of Proin ever since, and the problem has not returned. By my calculation, I spend about $2.40 per day to avoid sleeping in pee. My question is, are you people crazy? I would pay anything for this product, and make any sacrifice. I would go without beer, if that's what it took. ...

Shannon: Sir.

Me: Ma'am.

Shannon: I don't want you to have to sacrifice beer. And I am ... I am glad our pricing allows you to accommodate both products.

Me: You sound almost ... moved.

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Shannon: We are very proud of it.

Pam cooking spray

Me: Hi. I just waited eight minutes on hold, but this will be worth it. I'm a little bit of a geek about celebrities. I'd like to talk to Pam, if she is around. I want to tell her how much I like her product.

Kelly: We certainly appreciate your comments, and I will pass them along to our kitchen team, who are the people who create the recipes.

...continued

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