Presidential Politics' Worst Day Ever

Worst, most astonishingly, he insinuated that Trump was lacking beneath the briefs. "You know what they say about men with small hands?" Rubio said, smirking. "You can't trust them."

Which brings us to Thursday, March 3, which will go down as the most embarrassing day in the history of American presidential politics. At least let's hope this is as bad as it gets.

Trump began by summoning an unwelcome picture of Mitt Romney, his party's nominee four years ago. "He was begging for my endorsement. I could have said, 'Mitt drop to your knees,' he would have dropped to his knees," Trump said, pointing to the floor.

This is, as Fox News host Megyn Kelly educated us oh-so-many GOP debates ago, a favorite Trump image. "You dropped to your knees?" Trump had once asked a contestant on "The Celebrity Apprentice," laughing lasciviously. "It must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees."

At Thursday night's Fox News debate, Trump could not leave Rubio's "small hands" slander unrebutted. Did Trump plan it? Could he simply not restrain himself from answering the assault on his manhood? It's hard to tell which would be worse.

"He hit my hands," Trump said, unprovoked, minutes into the melee, holding up his digits for viewing. "Nobody has ever hit my hands. I have never heard of this. Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he referred to my hands, if they are small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there is no problem. I guarantee."

No, fact-checkers! No! What's next, an affidavit from the wives?

"OK, moving on," said moderator Bret Baier. If only. As I write this column, a headline on CNN.com reads, "Donald Trump defends size of his penis."

This might be funny -- these poor guys and their anxieties -- if the stakes weren't so high. Gender solidarity impels me to suggest a solution for this juvenilia: a debate stage populated by women. That would take care of the playground insults, the shouting, the constant interrupting and talking-over.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, you have got to do better than this," moderator Chris Wallace said at one point, breaking up the schoolyard fight between the candidates who referred to each other as "little Marco" and "big Donald."

Roman emperors once placated the masses with bread and circuses. Today, no bread is required. Politics is all circus, all the time.

========

Ruth Marcus' email address is ruthmarcus@washpost.com.