Don't Ban 'Bossy,' Own It
I would add such pejorative labels as "actin' white" or "talkin' white" among some African American youths to the self-destructive labels that I, as an African-American parent, would like to ban.
But attempts to censor certain words only make the forbidden fruit more desirable. What works for kids of all races and genders are messages from older mentors and role models that brains and ambition can be cool, too.
That's why I respectfully disagree with critics like the Daily Beast's Keli Goff who dismiss Sandberg's campaign as a bourgeois conceit by a corporate-class woman with misplaced priorities.
"When I look at the laundry list of obstacles that women face, particularly those of us who do not come from privileged backgrounds," Goff writes, "being called bossy doesn't rank in the top 20."
Fair enough. But never underestimate the power of self-defeating attitudes to steer lower-income youngsters away from promising success paths. Ban Bossy's message is aimed not only at kids, many of whom will never visit its website, but also at the adults who teach and influence them.
It's a message too important to be aimed at girls alone. Raising a son during the past two decades has taught me not only that many girls should be more comfortably assertive but also that more than a few boys should to be less obnoxiously bossy.
Our modern conceptions of manhood and masculinity need to make room for the nurturing dad, for example, who blends work and home life in the way that more often falls on the shoulders of working moms. It's OK for moms and dads to take turns being the boss -- without being bossy.
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E-mail Clarence Page at cpage@tribune.com.
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