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Recent Quips from Late Night
"President Bush spoke about the Wall Street bailout yesterday, and he said, this is the quote, 'if the money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down.' So folks, if we know nothing else at this point, at least we know that President Bush is writing his own speeches." --Conan O'Brien
"The nation's largest savings and loan, Washington Mutual, has become the biggest bank failure in history. See, the problem with the savings and loans? Not enough savings, too many stupid loans, okay In fact, they changed their name from WaMu to 'screw you.'" --Jay Leno
"The presidential debates had an unusual format. After blowing a question on Bosnia, John McCain was told to extinguish his torch and leave the island." --David Letterman
"Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said that the proposed bailout plan will cost taxpayers $700 billion. To give you an idea how much money that is, I can't give you an idea of how much money that is." --Seth Meyers
"A farmer in Ohio has carved a corn maze in his field in the likeness of Sarah Palin. The way it works? You you enter and suddenly realize you're way over your head." --Amy Poehler
"McCain suspended his campaign, said the debate had to be canceled, he went to Washington, screwed up the deal, and then un-suspended his campaign and flew to the debate even though there wasn't a deal. Usually when a 72-year-old man acts this way, this is when the kids start calling nursing homes." --Bill Maher
"John McCain said he wouldn't attend tonight's presidential debate unless Congress reached a bailout deal. Then McCain reversed his position and decided to take part anyway. That's what happened. McCain says he may drop out again, depending on what the first question is. He's going to play it by ear." --Conan O'Brien
"But the good news, the crime rate is down. Isn't that amazing? Less banks are being robbed. Well, sure. A, there's less banks. B, the banks don't have any money left. And C, nobody's got gas money for the getaway car. So, right there, crime is down!" --Jay Leno
This news arrived on: 09/30/2008
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Posted Comments:
10-09-2008 11:25
Beverly wrote:
Political Jokes
Hey I thing the jokes are funny myself!! Yeah,for free speech!!
10-09-2008 04:46
Fearful Ralph wrote:
Well, Robert Brown, neither Fannie Mae nor Freddie Mac ever forced any bank to loan poor people money nor did the act you referred to mandate said loans.
It was the rich investment bankers, you know the ones that won't acknowledge your existence unless you have at least $4 million, that put us in the deep black economic hole we are in. They came up with those wonderful CDSs that they traded back & forth like hot potatoes along with the insurance giants & Mae & Mac got greedy & got in on the deal because it was easy money. So everyone thought. And then it turned out there was nothing of value behind the CDS.
It was the rich investment bankers, you know the ones that won't acknowledge your existence unless you have at least $4 million, that put us in the deep black economic hole we are in. They came up with those wonderful CDSs that they traded back & forth like hot potatoes along with the insurance giants & Mae & Mac got greedy & got in on the deal because it was easy money. So everyone thought. And then it turned out there was nothing of value behind the CDS.
10-07-2008 21:42
wrote:
I am fed up of your late night bias on the Reps. Unsubscribe me.
10-07-2008 17:50
wrote:
Yeah after all, a democrat cant do anything wrong when he is useful to their agenda. Obama could get away with a public murder, and the news media would help him.
10-07-2008 17:33
fred wrote:
late night jokers
Gee I wonder why all late night idiots missed the FACT that good ole joe told ten(10) FLAt OUT LIES and made six questionable statements in the debate with Sarah Palin.??? Could they have done so on purpose-------NAHHHHH of course not !
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