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Recent Quips from Late Night
"This Thursday, Barack Obama is gonna give his acceptance speech, and reportedly it's going to include performances by Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen. Yeah. And they say Obama's not black enough!" --Conan O'Brien
"As you all know by now, Barack Obama sent out a cell phone text message at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning to tell everyone he picked Joe Biden as his vice president. How do you think this makes Hillary Clinton feel, huh? Finally, she gets a telephone call at 3 a.m., it's to tell her they picked Joe Biden." --Jay Leno
"Joe Biden is Barack Obama's running mate. Yeah nothing says change like a guy who's been in the Senate for 35 years" --David Letterman
"Tomorrow night at the Democratic Convention to show her support for Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton is going to give a speech. Everyone's waiting to hear what she says, yeah. Hillary's speech is entitled, 'Forget All Those Things I Said During The Primaries.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Although Joe Biden is in great physical condition, Republicans are raising questions about his health now. I guess he had a brain aneurysm a couple of years ago. Hey, you can't expect every vice president to be the picture of health like Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno
"The current issue of Newsweek magazine has a picture of President Bush on the cover with the headline, 'What Bush Got Right.' Yeah, it's true. Newsweek says 'What Bush Got Right' is their shortest cover story since January's issue on famous Korean rabbis." --Conan O'Brien
"As you know, John McCain is an older, white-haired man who has been in the Senate for over twenty years, voted for the Iraq War, and said Barack Obama did not have the experience to be president. I'm sorry, that's our intro for next week when Joe Biden is on, I got confused." --Jay Leno
"How about this John Edwards thing? Imagine that, a personal injury attorney who turns out to be a sleaze ball. Who could have seen that coming?" --Jay Leno
"John Edwards has admitted to having an affair, but he's denying that he is the father of the woman's baby. In fact, he says a member of his campaign staff is the baby's father. Campaign staff, how does that work? What, was Edwards running late that day? Huh? Had to send an advance man in? 'Look, I can’t have sex with you. I'm sending Bob down." --Jay Leno
This news arrived on: 08/26/2008
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Posted Comments:
09-03-2008 10:16
pfness wrote:
Obama
I wish someone WOULD clear up this nationality thing. It seems Obama's mother should have been 5 years from her 16th birthday for Obama to have been a citizen when he was born. It must have been something to do with when Hawaii became a state. Was he born before Hawaii became a state or afterwards. It would be very trying and costly for this to be argued out should he become president. I know there is a group pushing this right now, but I have never gotten a clear picture of what they are trying to say. I agree that someone who is not a citizen of the USA should not be president. If they could, then someone from another country could move here and try to take over the government for a foreign entity. Makes sense, you don't have to live here long to get a citizenship. But it does deter anything like what I just mentioned from happening. You can't plant a spy in the US to become president. The law is in place against that.
09-01-2008 21:10
bd wrote:
If you think that's bad, take a look at "Family Circus". Not that there's anything abnormal about the comic, it's the comments people make. The language is downright dirty and vulgar!
As for Edwards, he got himself into the mess, let him face the music.There is no obscene language.
As for Edwards, he got himself into the mess, let him face the music.There is no obscene language.
09-01-2008 16:38
bobbyr54 wrote:
Late Night Quips
What was your objection Uncle Mike? While it is true that no foreign born people may ever serve as President, it doesn't exclude people who are born on foreing soil of American Parents. If a son or daughter was born to parent that was serving as a U.S. ambassador to Russia, that child might be considered a Russian if that country has such a law, but this child was also born of American parents and is a full fledged American citizen and is able to hold any office including the highest. Were you objecting to Bruce Springsteen or Barak Obama?
Both men are natural born American citizens. Bruce Springsteen was born in Long Branch, New Jersey and Barak Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii.
My complaint is that Arcamax claims to be family friendly. The last two jokes about about John Edwards doesn't qualify for this standard.
Both men are natural born American citizens. Bruce Springsteen was born in Long Branch, New Jersey and Barak Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii.
My complaint is that Arcamax claims to be family friendly. The last two jokes about about John Edwards doesn't qualify for this standard.
09-01-2008 06:58
Uncle Mike wrote:
Quips
So what, did Bruce Springsteen sing Born in the USA for obama. Constitution says no forienger can be president. So why is he even running. Time to burn all my springsteen records.
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