An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her lungs that she "knows how to use it and will ...Read More

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented ...Read More

- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

- You're getting old when you wake up with that ...Read More

- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

- Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

- Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!

- Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

- Wait a minute,...Read More

After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver,

"Would you ...Read More

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw...Read More