From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-22003-479703
-- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
-- 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
-- You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
-- You watch the Weather Channel.
-- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
-- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
-- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
-- You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
-- You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
-- Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
-- Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
-- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
-- Dinner and a movie is the whole date, instead of the beginning of
one.
-- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
-- You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
-- 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
-- You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
-- You read this entire list, looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you, but, can't find one to save your life.