From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-183119-422170
There once was a flood and everyone had reached safety except for one
man.
He climbed to the top of his house with the water lapping at his feet.
A helicopter flew over his head and hung down a rope for him to climb,
but the man was deeply religious and said, "It's alright! The Lord
will save me!"
So the helicopter flew away. The water continued to rise and a boat
came to him but, once again, the man shouted, "No! Go AWAY! the Lord
will come and save me!" and, once again, the boat sped off.
The water was getting dangerously deep by now so the helicopter came
back and, on cue, the man repeated, "I don't need saving! My Lord will
come"
Reluctantly, the helicopter left.
The rain continued to pour, the water continued to rise and the man
drowned.
At the gates of heaven, the man met St. Peter. Confused, he asked,
"Peter, I have lived the life of a faithful man - why did my Lord not
rescue me?"
St. Peter replied, "For pity sake! He sent you two helicopters and a
boat!"