Jokes - Computers and Cars - ArcaMax Publishing

ArcaMax Publishing > The Funnies > Jokes

Your email address is safe with us. View our Privacy policy.

The Funnies:

Get free jokes, comics, and more! See them all on
our funnies page

Books:

Read the classics online or by email. More details on the books page

Computers and Cars

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared The computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to re-install the engine.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

This news arrived on: 10/29/2004

Share this Story

Digg

del.icio.us

Yahoo

Facebook

Google

Printer Friendly Version | Send this page to a friend | Post Comment

Rate This Story:

Great - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - Bad

Note: Please note that the jokes here are non-copyrighted fun stuff that was found from around the Internet. If by chance we have posted a copyrighted joke without attribution, please contact us to let us know which joke is in question. This way, we can either remove the joke or give proper credit to the author.