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Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

This news arrived on: 10/21/2004

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Note: Please note that the jokes here are non-copyrighted fun stuff that was found from around the Internet. If by chance we have posted a copyrighted joke without attribution, please contact us to let us know which joke is in question. This way, we can either remove the joke or give proper credit to the author.

Posted Comments:

11-06-2009 14:34

super actor wrote:

police female love john only.

my dear doctor,i,m not original man,
only john is better for you,please enjoy in family life,with cute daughter.
i have own seven millions dollars in business.i,m better in my city 042.
good bye foreverly.
mab102.

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11-06-2009 14:24

super actor wrote:

police man jhon love with police woman victoria

today i,m very very very happy dr.victoria zdrok in family life with own husband john,with lovely doll daughter.
i,m not orignal lover for dr.victoria.
i,m very very miser man,i have own seven millions dollars in business.i,m very very happy in my city 042 only,my all sipiritual teacher has told me,cute doctor victoria zdrok is not better for mab102.
only john is better for victoria zdrok.
Good bye for all family members.
my name is,fm,006,007,old is gold,and mab102.

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11-06-2009 10:46

MAB102 wrote:

police female.

my dear doll of ayu,i,m not in police man,
i,m only only only Love man for you,only,
i know you are Lawyer,you have many more relation,with all police,groups,
you have many more email adresses and phone numbers,
i know,you, are in secrets services.i know you have done work,in james bond movies.

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