Your email address is safe with us. View our Privacy policy.
Do You Have An HMO?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE. " Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.
---
Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories - those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry; the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away, and a diploma from a Third World country.
---
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
---
Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment
---
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
---
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
---
Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.
---
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it.
---
Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No. But if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.
This news arrived on: 10/18/2004
Printer Friendly Version | Send this page to a friend | Post Comment
Rate This Story:
Great - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - Bad
Note: Please note that the jokes here are non-copyrighted fun stuff that was found from around the Internet. If by chance we have posted a copyrighted joke without attribution, please contact us to let us know which joke is in question. This way, we can either remove the joke or give proper credit to the author.
Posted Comments:
11-12-2009 17:32
Lyle wrote:
Do You Have An HMO ?
The writer of this article is completely idiotic.
I , thank God, have an HMO. Twelve (12) years ago, I had a heart attack and required open heart surgery.
I selected my own hospital, accepted the very qualified professional surgeon suggested, was admitted, had a multitude of tests, placed in a semi private room before and after the successful operation. My costs, not a red cent !
Oh yes, I'm one of those wealthy people you spoke of. My yearly at that time income was less than $20,000.
Does your writer consider that rich ? Quit conning the populace, and tell them the truth.
Make yourself an exception in doing that.
God knows, our present administration isn't truthful. Wait until you see their health care costs !
I , thank God, have an HMO. Twelve (12) years ago, I had a heart attack and required open heart surgery.
I selected my own hospital, accepted the very qualified professional surgeon suggested, was admitted, had a multitude of tests, placed in a semi private room before and after the successful operation. My costs, not a red cent !
Oh yes, I'm one of those wealthy people you spoke of. My yearly at that time income was less than $20,000.
Does your writer consider that rich ? Quit conning the populace, and tell them the truth.
Make yourself an exception in doing that.
God knows, our present administration isn't truthful. Wait until you see their health care costs !
11-07-2009 01:31
Fearfull Ralph wrote:
Actually, swlinguist, this is an accurate description of the current health care in the US if you are rich. It is unbelievable that overall costs for health care is far more in the US than any other country and has the shortest projected life expectancy of any industrialized country. I do agree that there is little hope of the US getting efficient affordable health care as long as Congress is in the pocket of big pharmas & health care providers.
11-06-2009 20:57
Gartar wrote:
Sorry Esther
Apparently you're the only one.
11-06-2009 15:09
Esther wrote:
Do you have an HMO?
I find this story very offensive and racist!!!!!!
11-06-2009 15:07
Esther wrote:
Do you have an HMO?
What do you mean "graduate from a third world country"? I bet you we have some graduates from the Philippines that are much better than a lot of doctors here in the United States. They prescribe medicines without diagnosing the patient first because ther are either lazy to work/investigate further or they just patronize certain medicines because they get some cut for every prescription
Comment archive | Comment FAQ's
 |
 |
|
View Jokes ezine stories by date or visit the complete archive |
The ArcaMax Politics channel is one of 70 content categories offered by ArcaMax Publishing on this ... |
- Jokes
- New Yorker Cartoons
- Comics
- Agnes
- Andy Capp
- BC
- Baby Blues
- Beetle Bailey
- Blondie
- Boondocks
- Cathy
- Daddy's Home
- Dinette Set
- Dog Eat Doug
- Doonesbury
- Family Circus
- Garfield
- Girls & Sports
- Hagar the Horrible
- Heathcliff
- Jerry King Cartoons
- Momma
- Mother Goose & Grimm
- Mutts
- Non Sequitur
- Pickles
- Red and Rover
- Rubes
- Rugrats
- Speed Bump
- Wizard of Id
- Zits
- Newsletters
- Features Blog
- Advertise with us
Sponsored Channels
Free Games-Rewards!
VideoSquares.com
Best Freebies
FREE College Guide
ArcaMax Dating
VideoSquares.com
Best Freebies
FREE College Guide
ArcaMax Dating
